She Will Be Loved
by Kuroi Inanis
Summary: Love can form in the oddest of circumstances and in the most unexpected places. RavenBB


**She Will Be Loved**

A Raven/Beast Boy fanfiction

By Sahra

Disclaimer: Don't own Teen Titans, wish I did; might have money for bills for once. What a concept! The song "She Will Be Loved" belongs to Maroon 5.

Dedication: Merry Late Christmas, Donna!

Note: It needs to be noted now that all the scenes are NOT in chronological order. They are written to flow with the song lyrics, as the story is based upon Beast Boy's memories. There is a full outline enclosed at the end of the story. Enjoi!

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_She was listening to that song again; it was playing softly through her open window, going unnoticed by those passing by on the busy street below. _

_Except for him._

_He heard it instantly, the notes reaching his hyper-sensitive ears and bringing back a rush of memories. She had been favoring this specific song for weeks now, and it had become just as much a habit for him to listen to it, standing on the corner of her apartment complex, as it was for her to play it. _

_It always rained on her side of town, no matter what the weather was like anywhere else. It could be over 100 degrees in Jump City, and still rain would pour down on Jefferson Street, down upon tiny apartment 14B. He didn't mind the rain; if anything, it simply added to her mystery, to the beauty of watching her. _

… _her apartment…_

_It had been six months since she had moved out, six long months; he still wasn't used to it. They five had lived together for so long, existing as a family, that the thought of her no longer occupying the isolated room at the end of the hall came as a great shock. So he stood on the corner, ignoring the pouring rain, and listened to her music. _

_And he remembered._

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_/Beauty queen of only eighteen/_

By all accounts, Beast Boy should have had no problems sleeping; between fighting an inter-dimensional being, saving the universe, preventing the end of the world, AND missing his afternoon nap due to all of the above, he should have been dead to the world by the time his head hit the pillow. Given the simple logic, the changeling could not understand why, at 1:32 in the morning, he was still trying to find dreamland.

"This sucks," he muttered into the dark, having flipped over onto his back for what felt like the millionth time that night. His eyes now studied the bare expansion of his ceiling as he attempted to shut his mind off long enough to at least GET to sleep. It was extremely rare that his emotional state would be the cause of his insomnia (usually it was indigestion from tofu pizza…), but for some reason he couldn't get his mind to stop THINKING.

'… she liked my tofu bacon…'

It had been that one pondering, that one harmless thought that had come hours previous when he had been teetering on the edge of a blessed unconsciousness, that he had set in motion in innumerable questions and realizations that were responsible for his being awake. Beast Boy gave up attempting to get to sleep, at least for the moment, and exhaustedly climbed down from him top bunk, wincing as he did so. He had taken quite a beating today (or yesterday, if you wanted to get technical…), and as a result his muscles had stiffened to the point where movement was almost impossible. His clothing hid the scrapes and bruises he had earned during the fight, and he was almost sure that the others were in the same shape he was.

Morphing into a cat, he took a moment to stretch his body into at least a partially-functioning state before he returned to his human form and slipping out the door, trudging down the hall towards the kitchen for a snack. As he approached Raven's room, he couldn't help but to slow his pace, straining his hyper-sensitive ears to pick up on any noise beyond the threshold of her door. Her shallow, even breathing was the answer and he smiled softly, continuing down the hallway. Out of all of them, she was undoubtedly the most exhausted. Becoming the portal had returned her to the form of a child, robbing her of her powers and rending her useless in the fight against Trigon.

Or at least, that was how it had seemed…

_/She had some trouble with herself…/_

The other four titans had fallen quickly, though by no means had they gone down without a fight. For the first few minutes, with the assistance of Slade ('maybe a snowball COULD survive a trip through Hell…' BB thought idly), they were actually able to push the demon back, an immense surprise to Raven. It had almost seemed as though they were going to be triumphant when Trigon found his opening and struck, leaving only Raven standing. Beast Boy did not, and would never, understand why seeing her run to Robin's fallen form on the battlefield had caused such a sharp ache in his chest. He did, however, perfectly comprehend WHAT that pain had been.

"Jealousy."

He had uttered the word while rummaging through the fridge in search of his soy milk, and startled a bit as it slipped almost of its own will from between his teeth. Beast Boy had heard that one statement echo in his mind so many times that night that he had come to accept the truth within it; to actually HEAR it come from his own mouth, however… that made it seem like he was ACCEPTING it…

"Okay… so I'm jealous of Robin… now I have to figure out why…" he muttered, retrieving a glass from the cupboard and filling it halfway with milk. After returning the carton to its hiding spot in the fridge (Cy used to mess with his food when they were younger) he took a seat on the couch, staring out at the city.

"Robin's practically dating Star as it is; he has no interest in Raven that way… or if he does, then it's going to be very interesting around here…" Beast Boy had to laugh at his own twisted sense of logic; the thought of Robin dating both female titans at once (like either one would actually STAND for that) made for an interesting mental image. Though, come to think of it… this was not the first time that the monster known as envy had reared its ugly head when Raven was concerned. She had dated a few guys in the years they had all been friends, and he had felt inklings of covetousness at times, but they were mostly just passing flashes of emotion and nothing more. The first obvious case of real jealousy had occurred almost a year previous, after Raven picked up an ancient book while in Gotham City.

Malchior had manipulated Raven's emotions, one of the cruelest things he could have done. As it was her frame of mind was highly unstable as it was, due to her being a demon-human hybrid. Throwing the possibility of love into the fray was like squirting lighter fluid on hot coals; you weren't sure if it would simply light a fire or end up blowing up in your face and charring off your eyebrows. In this case Raven had been burned badly by the results and had fallen into a deep state of depression. He could clearly remember finding her in the carport a week after Malchior's banishment, the memory bringing forth images that played like a picture show in his mind. Beast Boy shook his head quickly, willing the recollection away; chances were more than likely that he would never get that close to her again.

_/He was always there to help her, she/_

"Okay, so maybe it ISN'T Robin…" the changeling admitted grudgingly, dipping a finger in his milk and stirring it around idly, "wow, I wonder if I'm going insane… don't they say that the first sign is talking to yourself?" Silence was the only answer he received and he sighed softly, standing and moving to place his cup in the sink.

'When she hugged me, she smelled like lavender…' he remembered, recalling their brief embrace outside her door. He had given her a few hours after Malchior was defeated to grieve before attempting to approach her; after all, he had been carting around a broken heart of his own, and thusly felt he was the best candidate to assist her. His words had been uncommonly serious, but heart-felt and honest. Yes, she WAS creepy; that was part of her odd charm (though he would never admit that to her face). Yes, she was a private person and could sometimes be frightening. But was she unloved? No. Did she have to stay hidden away from the world? No. And was she alone? Never. Above all else, she was NEVER alone. He wanted to make sure she knew that.

When Raven had hugged him, it had shocked him into silence; all he could do was take her by her shoulders and push away from her to explore the deep pools of her eyes.

'That was when I first noticed just how beautiful she is…' Beast Boy realized as he made the trip back to his room. By no means had Terra been unattractive, but the year that had moved by had proven that she had been a pre-adolescence crush, formed by the innocence that only puppy love could harbor. Beast Boy had matured much in that one year, and though he still had several childish days (and weeks…), he also had many adult ones to counteract them.

He reached the familiar darkness of his room and crawled back into bed, lying on his side in a ball and shutting his eyes. The day's events played as movie on the insides of his eyelids; Raven descending from heaven, her cloak and leotard as white as virgin snow and her now-long hair cascading down her back in elegant waves of purple wine. In that moment, all he wanted to do was touch her; to hold her against his chest and feel the heat of her body against his own and thank whatever God that existed that she was alive. She had made a beeline for Robin's arms instead, embracing him with a simple statement of "someone believed…". Beast Boy could only stand and watch, wanting to say something, ANYTHING, to express the resentment that flared within his chest. Feigning a comical attitude had always worked wonderfully as a defense mechanism, and that was what he had done. Raven had responded in her usual sarcastic way, confirming to Beast Boy that this was truly her standing before him, alive and very much so well. His composure had broken and he had lunged forward, wrapping her up in a tight hug. He didn't care at that point that she had tensed in his arms, squirming a bit in an attempt to get away, before she gave in and muttered some half-hearted plea for him to stop.

_/Always belonged to someone else…/_

Even after all they had been through that day, she had still smelled like lavender.

Returning home, they had thrown a celebration party. Beast Boy couldn't seem to tear himself from Raven's side; he insisted on sitting next to her during dinner, unable to take his eyes off her. No matter how many glares she shot in his direction, he could only return his gaze back to her after ten seconds of focusing on his uneaten food. Once dinner was over they had put in a movie, gathering around on the couch. The changeling had wormed his way between Starfire and Raven, proceeding to repeat his actions from dinner. She had put up with it for a half-hour before moving to sit on the other side of Cyborg, effectively blocking his view of her. This left him to stare blankly at the screen until the movie finished and everyone agreed it was time for bed. Beast Boy had gone to bed without saying a word to Raven, suddenly at a loss for WHAT to say. He had laid down, curled up, and let his muscles start to heal.

But had he slept?

Nope.

'… but she liked my tofu bacon…' his mind reminded him, gracing his lips with the barest of smiles. It was that thought, that one simple realization that finally allowed him to slide into an exhaust-induced slumber.

His dreams were blessed by a girl with pale skin and waves of mauve wine running thickly down her back. The scent of lavender hung heavy in the air, mingling with the natural fragrance of her sweat, the individual smell that every human calls their own.

That night, Garfield Mark Logan fell in love with the enigma that was Raven Roth.

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_/I drove for miles and miles/_

_/And wound up at your door/_

_His eyes drifted lazily over to the small car parked on the side of the road; it was nothing more than a junker at best, a far cry from the moped of his youth. He had to smile at the memory of the small land vehicle that had dominated the innocent thoughts of childhood, and he could remember a time or two when he envisioned taking a ride on one, Raven positioned behind him with her arms around his waist and her hair free to fly around her face as the warm summer air swept through it. _

_/I've had you so many times, but/_

_/Somehow, I want more/_

_The tips of his fingers tingled at the memories of the times he had touched her, of the times when she had been against his chest and the feeling of her blood running through her veins had reached his senses when he touched her skin, warm despite its almost gray tone. He flexed his hands and sighed, returning his gaze to her window once more. The rain continued to pour, soaking his face and plastering his hair against his forehead; and he continued to ignore it, absorbing himself in thoughts of her._

_/I don't mind spending everyday/_

_/Out on your corner in the pouring rain/_

_/Look for the girl with the broken smile/_

_/And ask her if she wants to stay awhile…/_

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_/And she will be loved/_

_/She will be loved…/_

It was with a rough jerk that Raven bolted into full consciousness, sitting upright and clutching the sweat-soaked sheets to her chest. For a moment the nightmare lingered and she whimpered into the night's darkness, muscles rigid with terror and eyes seeking for something she was sure was there, waiting just beyond her line of sight.

Then the dream faded and she was left alone, shaking with post-adrenaline and soaked in a heavy sheen of sweat. It took a moment for her rational mind to return and her hand drifted up slowly to wipe across her forehead, brushing the hair plastered to her skin away. Her ears strained into the night, listening for any movement, only to find nothing more than the sound of her own ragged gasping. She slid fluidly out of bed and moved swiftly across the room, hand finding the light switch after a moment of groping. Raven flipped it up quickly, blinking at the onslaught of the harsh lights against her dilated pupils.

There was no one there but her.

Her eyes scanned the room slowly, taking in every corner, every crevasse, every last inch, before the lights were banished and she returned to bed, sliding under the dampened sheets and closing her eyes.

Raven was almost asleep again when the nightmare returned, dancing like a sick movie on the inside of her eyelids and causing the fear to rise back to the surface. Her eyes shot open once more and she sat up again, slower this time, and ran her hands through her hair.

'Great… I can't afford to go without sleep; Robin wants us all up bright and early for training, and no sleep will definitely mess up morning meditation. Maybe a cup of tea will help…' Her feet once again hit the ground with a soft 'plop' and she headed for the door, this time not bothering to turn the lights on. She slipped quietly out her door and made her way down the darkened hall, wrapping her arms around herself as the cool night air touched her damp skin. As she turned the corner a light caught her eye, and she was surprised to see that Beast Boy was still very much awake.

'Moron; he's going to be exhausted at training tomorrow,' her mind muttered, a frown passing over her features. A moment later it softened as another thought rose to the surface.

'He's awake… I could go sit with him, at least for a little while… until the nightmares hide again…' As soon as her contemplation presented itself, doubt entered the fray as well. What if he made fun of her? She couldn't bear the thought of the others knowing of her moment of weakness, of her quiet but desperate desire for human companionship. She was the loner of the group, the one who had never needed anyone and never would.

… and yet…

The thought of going back to her own room, of being alone in the dark, was far more terrifying than any mocking or teasing she might face. So before she could change her mind, before rationality could kick in and cause her to recede back into the shadows, she stepped up to his door, raised her hand, and knocked.

_/Tap on my window, knock on my door/_

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The knock was so soft in comparison to the loud noises of his video game that at first Beast Boy assumed his lonely mind had simply imagined it. His thoughts had been plagued with Raven, more so than usual, and sleep was a luxury he couldn't seem to afford right now. His mind, of course, had filled in the lonely pockets with all the tricks of the trade: the teasing knocks on the door at three in the morning when he was finally ready to try and sleep, the ghostly wafts of her shampoo and conditioner still left in the bathroom from her morning shower, and even fabricated footsteps in the hallway outside his door. It was most frustrating indeed when a changeling with animalistic senses could be fooled.

So tonight he refused to give in, instead increasing the volume on his game in hopes of drowning out the usual tricks his subconscious seemed to love playing on him. For a few moments it actually worked and he forgot about the disturbance that had called up the desire that lived in the back of his mind. Then, faintly, his senses caught an almost overpowering whiff of lavender perfume. He rose to his feet quickly, glancing over at his door. It had smelled almost too thick, too _real_, to be another illusion. It was this fact that compelled him to cross his room, following a well-formed path through the clothing and garbage living on his floor, to slide his door open.

Raven had just turned to go and her face registered surprise at seeing him. They stood in silence for a moment, regarding each other, before he beckoned her inside, moving aside as she complied.

"You're up late…" he commented as they walked to his bed, his hand sliding down across the TV to turn it off before he sat beside her. He was used to her being in bed by ten at the absolute latest (when crime would permit it, anyway) and a glance at the clock informed him that she was about four hours past her bedtime.

"So are you," she countered, her eyes directed to a spot somewhere on the wall.

"Yeah, but I sleep in late and avoid training at all costs; you are up by six am and are always on time. It's the order of the world." He gave her that goofy smile and she scowled a bit, glancing over at him.

"… I couldn't sleep…" she finally confessed, suddenly appearing embarrassed.

'So the insomnia bug strikes again…'he thought to himself, before turning to regard her fully, "Why?"

He had asked it as if it were the most natural question in the world that she, whose life functioned strictly on eight hours of sleep when allowed and eight hours of meditation even when it wasn't, would be thrown off schedule like this. She hesitated with her answer, suddenly feeling as though this had not been the best of her ideas, and rose to her feet.

"Never mind, it's not important. Sorry to have bothered you." As she spoke she rose and took a step away from the bed, fully intending to return to her own room to meditate for the rest of the night with all the lights on and potions waiting (just incase). A hand with timid bravery but a secure grip closed around her wrist and halted her, and she turned to find a pair of green eyes staring up at her in concern.

"It was important enough for you to find someone… come on Raven, you can talk to me…" He was being uncharacteristically serious this evening, a rare occurrence indeed; but then again, almost two years of living under the same roof with the same people had taught him when to be serious and when to act like a moron.

"… it's not important, Beast Boy… really, it's stupid. Just go to sleep and forget about it." She jerked away from him and moved swiftly towards the exit.

"Is it the nightmares again?" His question stopped her dead in her tracks and she lowered her head a bit, fists clenched at her sides.

_/I want to make you feel beautiful/_

"… how do you know about the nightmares?" Raven whispered, surprised to find that her voice was shaking a bit; she had worked hard to ensure that no one knew of them, that no one heard the terrified cries in the night or saw her light on because she had become to paranoid and almost scared to be alone in the dark.

"When you have ears as huge as mine, you pick up on everything…" he replied, and she didn't have to turn to face him to know he was giving her that infuriating goofy grin. A moment of awkward silence ensued as she struggled for a response and he waited patiently.

"It's okay to talk about it, you know…" he whispered, once it became apparent that she wasn't going to speak, "you've been having them since Slade returned…"

"I don't want to discuss this… they'll go away in time."

"And if they don't?"

"They will." Her voice was quiet, hesitant, as if she were attempting to convince herself rather than him. Once again she moved for the door, and once again his voice stopped her.

"Before you go, I want to know one more thing… since Robin is your best friend and all, why did you knock on my door rather than him. He sleeps less than I do." Damn, was that jealousy in his voice?

_/I know I tend to get so insecure/_

"Your light was on."

"And what if it hadn't been? What then?"

"I don't see how this has any relevance to our conversation," she snapped, glancing at him over her shoulder.

"It doesn't. Sorry to pester you," he replied, retrieving the controller to his game station and turning the TV back on, "if you need me, I'll be up for awhile. And knock even if I'm not."

She stared at him for a long moment, an unreadable emotion flashing across her face, before she turned and took her leave without another word. Beast Boy watched her receding back for only a moment before he sighed quietly and returned his attention to the screen.

"Goodnight, Raven. Sleep well."

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Raven found herself exhausted when she finally returned to her room. She had wandered around the tower for almost an hour, finally winding up in the kitchen for a cup of tea. She sat now on her bed, cradling the mug in her cupped hands as she glanced at the clock beside her bed.

'3:12 am… if I don't get some form of sleep, there is NO WAY I'm going to make it through training…' Her eyes wandered to the mess of pillows and blankets on her bed, the pungent odor of stale sweat reaching her senses. She reached a hand out and ran it along the sheet, detecting just a hint of dampness remaining. She contemplated changing out the linen, but decided against it; if she had another nightmare, changing the sheets would only result in more laundry. Raven finished her tea slowly, somehow hoping it would delay the inevitable terror that would undoubtedly come with sleep. Too soon she was finished and she found herself easing slowly under the covers, darkness having returned and causing the moonlight to cast shadows across her floor and walls. Instinctively she gripped the fabric between her fingers, hugging it against her chest as she laid back and shut her eyes.

'Relax… focus… maybe if I just ignore it, the dream won't come back… focus…' Her inward meditation eased her down into sleep and she drifted off rather quickly, her grip on the sheets loosening and her breathing evening out.

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Darkness… soothing, calming, safe darkness. Raven drifted within this sleep-created womb for an unknown amount of time, her knees tucked up against her chest and her head dipped down to touch her legs. The memory of the nightmare faded into the background of her mind and left her feeling as though, perhaps, the dream would not return this night to haunt her. She focused on the rhythm of her breathing, feeling her breasts press against her knees as she inhaled and scrunch back under her arms as she exhaled. She became aware, slowly, of the sulfuric scent of brimstone around her and her eyes shot open, her heart jumping into her throat.

"… No…"

The fire rose around her suddenly and she dropped heavily to a stone floor, her hands flying up to her mouth as she coughed and choked on the smoke that filled the room. It took her senses a moment to alert her that she was no longer clad in her leotard, but was instead naked and vulnerable as the day she was born. Sweat, thick and heavy, coated her body and bright ruins glowed harshly against her pale skin, burning her flesh with an agonizing heat. Her eyes scanned her new surroundings slowly, hands moving down to grip her bony collarbone, her hair falling in wet clumps about her face. For several minutes terror and the realization that this dream was starkly different from her usual nightmare kept her frozen to one spot, and then she slowly made a move to rise to her feet. The moment she had propped herself up onto one knee, her other leg prepared to push her into a standing position, shackles shot out from the void around her and snapped around her wrists, causing her to fall back to her knees with a harsh grunt of shock. Thick metal restraints closed around her ankles and secured her to the floor, ensuring that she would be staying right where she was. Raven looked around quickly, eyes wide and chest heaving as panic started to move in to ruthlessly rob her of her rational senses. The muscles in her arms and legs tensed and released as she strained against her bonds, a low moan forming deep in her throat as the silhouettes of four bodies formed out of the darkness. They were lying in disheveled heaps before her, face down in large puddles of their own blood and gore. Recognition flashed through her eyes as she became aware of whose bodies she was staring at and she balked back, tears bursting forth from behind her eyes and running in rivers down her face.

"N… no…" she sobbed, turning her head away and shutting her eyes tightly in a vain attempt at blocking out the image of her four dead friends that would forever be burned into her mind. She felt two hands painfully grip her arms just below the shackles and her eyes shot open, mouth dropping open in a cry of surprise. The cry turned into a full-out scream as fire ignited her blood and ran quickly through her veins, rocking her body with violent convulsions of agony. The hands released her and the pain faded, leaving her shaking with a post-adrenaline rush as she tried in vain to curl in on her naked form. She was aware of the long hair that fell heavily against her back, the realization sending a violent shudder through her frame.

"Hello, Raven… how was the rest of your birthday?" Slade's voice was as taunting as ever, his statement whispered in a voice laced with cruelty against her ear. Her shoulders shuddered in a silent reply and she squeezed her eyes shut tightly to block him out. "Isn't it lovely?" he continued, sweeping his hand across the small area, an action Raven did not see, indicating both the blazing fire and the bodies laying before them, "and it's all thanks to you, Raven. You brought this fate upon them."

"No…" she whimpered, shifting her arms and legs in a futile attempt to recede back into the fetal position she had been in before this had all begun. The shackles allowed her only a few inches movement at best and she was left dangling like a rag doll from the chains. Slade chuckled darkly and moved to stand before her, bending down to place them face-to-face.

"Open your eyes, Raven… drink in this delightful destruction like wine. What you have concealed, you shall become; the blood of your friends is all over you, can't you feel it?"

The empath opened her eyes slowly, horror written plainly across her face. She glanced up at her arm, her lips moving in a silent plea for his words to be a lie; for the dampness drying on her skin to be her own sweat and nothing more. A scream caught in her throat as the dancing light from the fire reflected off the crimson coating her flesh, broken only by the angry glow of the ruins sporadically decorating her body. She flexed her hand slowly, feeling the drying liquid crackle a bit, and allowed several choked gasps to slip past her lips in pathetic substitute of the shriek that wanted to come. She turned her head away from the sight quickly, shaking violent, and witnessed Slade bending before her deceased teammates.

"What are you doing? Get away from them!" she screamed, anger returning some of her strength to her and allowing her to strain against her bonds. They were already dead, why could he not at least leave their bodies in peace! He ignored her words and continued about his unknown task, moving from body to body until finally he rose and turned to face her. A silver goblet, anointed with rubies as crimson as blood and engraved with strange symbols, rested in his hand. He walked towards her slowly, a sadistic sort of gleam in his eye, and instinctively Raven attempted escape, unable to budge from her spot due to the restraints securing her feet to the floor. Slade seemed to take no notice of her violent thrashing, reaching out to cup her cheek gently and brushing away a lock of hair in the process.

"Shh… there there now… no use in fussing, Raven; you're only going to make this harder on yourself if you do." Faster than Raven could blink her restraints had shifted themselves; she was now leaning against a wall with her wrists locked above her and her ankles in chains, allowing her feet a limited amount of movement and her arms absolutely none. Despite this fact she fought wildly as Slade raised the cup above her head, tipping it slowly until a thin stream of liquid started to pour over her face. It took Raven only a fraction of an instant to realize that it was blood and instantly her struggling intensified.

"No! Stop! Please stop!" she cried, her voice bordering on the sob caught in her throat. Slade ignored her pleas, emptying half the goblet on her face before he finally relented, leaving her slumped against the wall as she fought to control her shaking. He watched her in silence, giving her only a few moments of recovery time before be reached forward and grabbed a handful of her hair, jerking her head back roughly and drawing a strangled moan of pain from her throat. While her mouth was still gaping open he brought the rim of the cup to her lips and tipped it over, starting to trickle the remainder of the rust-flavored substance down the back of her throat. A gurgling noise escaped her and she closed her mouth instantly, the tears pouring anew down her face. Slade's hand shifted, releasing her hair and instead gripping her jaw. His fingers found the joins where her jawbone met her skull with an obvious level of experience and dug in ruthlessly, forcing her mouth open again as he shoved her head into the wall, pinning her into immobility.

"Open," he commanded simply, returning the cup to her lips and trickling the blood down her throat in a slow stream that was intended to increase the duration of her suffering. Raven writhed and moaned, gagging on the taste of rust and gore as it hit her stomach. Disgust caused her body to attempt rejection and the blood bubbled and foamed, forcing itself back up her esophagus and over her lips. She coughed and sputtered roughly, feeling her lungs flood with the backwash.

'I'm going to suffocate… Oh Azar, I'm going to drown in blood!' her mind screamed as her arms and legs flailed weakly in a last attempt at freedom.

"Don't worry… you'll grow accustomed to the taste. That is, of course, if you haven't already…" Slade commented as he finished off the goblet and moved it away from her lips, releasing her head and watching her frame tremble with heaving gasps as she vomited up most of the vile liquid at her feet. "Lights out…" he whispered, grabbing her bangs and pulling her head forward before he slammed it roughly against the wall. The last thing her shattered psyche registered before the welcome dark of unconsciousness was the sound of the goblet hitting the floor with a metallic clang.

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No amount of restraint could stop the horrified scream that tore itself from Raven's throat as she jerked up into a sitting position, hands clutched against her chest. For a moment the room had no air and she choked roughly, her fingers digging into her soaking wet leotard as she clawed at the skin beneath it, struggling to draw a breath. Then suddenly oxygen returned and she drank it in like wine, falling onto her side against the pillows while relief sent waves of shivers through her body. For several minutes she laid still, grogginess clouding her senses and leaving her to float between sleep and consciousness. Awareness slammed into her like an oncoming train and she was suddenly on her feet, tearing blindly at her saturated outfit. It was heavy, as heavy as the memory of her friends' blood on her skin was, and it had to come off! She removed the garment within moments and threw it on the bed, tearing the sheets from her mattress and throwing the entire bundle into the corner. Raven stood in the dark, clad only in a black sports bra and panties, trembling and sweating heavily until the panic receded and she was able to force herself into motion again. With quaking legs she moved to the mirror and stared into it, a wide-eyed and ashen-faced girl meeting her gaze. She closed her eyes and sighed, wiping a hand across her fevered brow before reaching out and taking the water basin sitting on her dresser by the handle, pouring some of the cold liquid into the matching bowl. While it was rare to find such antiques still being used, especially by a younger woman, Raven often had to cool off after her nightmares and this option was far more convenient than making the trip down the hall to the community bathroom.

'Calm down… it's over now…' she soothed herself, dipping her hands into the bowl and splashing the water up onto her arms. It was frigidly cold due to the temperature of her room and caressed her heated skin, aiding her mind in calming down her still-racing heart. She dipped her head low and made a cup with her hands, lifting some of the liquid out of the bowl and pouring it onto her face. To her immense shock it felt lukewarm on her face, bringing back a momentary flashback of her nightmare and filling her mouth with the rancid taste of blood and constricting her chest with terror. Raven lurched forward and heaved roughly, losing the contents of her stomach into the bowl. Her hands sough and located the sides of the dresser and she gripped them for balance as her body quaked and rejected everything she had consumed that night. When substance gave way to bile and bile gave way to dry retching she pulled back, reaching a hand up to run slowly across her mouth. At some point she had allowed a few tears to escape and run down her face and her other hand came up to banish them away, her eyes sliding shut. After a few moments she opened them again, her gaze drifting to the bowl and causing her stomach to turn again at what she found.

'… blood…'

She sank to the floor and leaned her head against the wall, gagging roughly and shaking with empty, painful heaves. They passed again after a few minutes and Raven rose shakily, moving away from the bowl without looking at it and instead stumbling dizzily to her closet to retrieve clothing. She reached for a leotard and then stopped, spotting a pair of blue jeans and a black sweater folded in the corner. They had been assigned to an undercover mission some time ago and had needed clothing other than their usual attire. Raven, never having been one for shopping, had grabbed the first pair of jeans and the first sweater in her size that she could find and have proceeded to buy them. They had been worn once, washed, and promptly shoved in her closet to collect dust. After a moment she reached for them, taking them from their lonely home and cradling them against her chest as she also retrieved fresh linen for the bed. The closet door slid shut and she moved to the dressed, avoiding the porcelain bowl as she stripped off her bra and panties and replaced them with clean ones. Her sheets were abandoned on the mattress a moment later and she unfolded the sweater, noting the creases that were telltale signs of disuse before she pulled it on, the pants soon following. As Raven made the bed she forced her mind to shut down and go blank, attempting to banish the lingering images of the nightmare from her mind. She had to sleep – if she didn't sleep she would fall behind in training, and she wasn't in the mood to listen to a lecture from Robin. Nightmares or not, tonight sleep was a necessity.

Making the bed was a task that took only mere moments and she shoved the soiled linen into her closet, making a mental note to wash them in the morning. She was just about to slide under the covers and return to sleep when she spotted the bowl out of the corner of her eye. Another wave of nausea came and she shuddered, covering her mouth until it passed. She rose slowly and moved to the dresser, lifting the bowl carefully and slipping out into the hallway to dispose of its contents in the bathroom. Ten minutes later found her returning to her room, the bowl washed out and cradled against her chest. She glanced out one of the many large windows that made up the walls of Titans Tower, the lightening of the sky telling her that dawn was but an hour away at best.

'Great… guess I'll be taking a nap before training rather than actually sleeping…' Raven thought to herself, sighing softly. She turned away and trudged towards her room, feeling worn down and exhausted from the extreme physical and emotion stress that this night – as well as several others before it in the last month – had put her through. A soft noise somewhere in the hall snapped her to full alert and her hand was immediately surrounded in the glow of her black energy, ready to reach out and strike should she need to defend herself. When the sound repeated itself, louder this time, she was able to place a name to it and her hand relaxed at her side, her eyes searching for the small green kitten that would undoubtedly be standing somewhere nearby. She spotted him a few feet away from her door, staring up at her with large, worried eyes.

"What are you doing here? You should have been in bed hours ago, the training will start soon…" she chided, glaring down at him. He cocked his head in reply and mewled softly, moving forward to bat at her foot with him paw. She sighed, unable to keep her angry expression from fading and her shoulders from sagging; she would never admit it to his face, but he was just too damn cute when he picked the right animal to become. "Don't worry about me, Beast Boy," she continued, forcing a weak smile, "I'm fine." The cat's ears drooped a little and it mewled again, the noise coming out sad. Raven sighed and groaned, rubbing at her temples with the tips of her fingers. "You're really worried…" she muttered. She then kneeled down and reached her hand out, stroking his head softly. He purred gently and rubbed his face against her hand, a content smile on his face. Raven slid her hand under his belly, palm-up, and slowly lifted him from the floor, allowing him to nestle against her chest.

"Mewl?" His question did not need to be voiced in words she understood as he turned to look at her, bracing a paw on the crest of her chest.

"Not a word of this to anyone, or I'll send you to the most terrifying dimension I can find…" she threatened, though her tone held no malice. She entered her room and set the bowl on her dresser, traveling to her bed and pulling the covers back. Upon settling Beast Boy down on the pillow she slid herself under the blankets, not bothering to change out of the jeans and sweater she was clad in. Raven rested her head, which felt like it was full of lead, onto the pillow next to the small green kitten. "Don't make too much out of this…" she told him after a few moments, rolling up onto her side so that she faced him, "this doesn't mean you don't annoy the Hell out of me… but neither one of us has gotten much sleep tonight, if any at all, and training is hard enough without sleep deprivation on top of it. You won't sleep until you know I'm alright, so I'll let you lay here for a few minutes." The cat mewled contently and curled up against her head, pawing at her hair for a moment before tucking his tail around his feet and settling down. Raven yawned, covering her mouth with her hand, and pulled the sheets over her shoulder. The room lapsed into silence and Beast Boy was almost asleep when Raven's voice broke through the layer between awake and asleep he was drifting in, causing him to raise his head sleepily.

"… it was terrifying, you know…" she muttered mindlessly, her eyes half-open and seeming to stare at something only she could see, "so much pain. The nightmares have never been that violent before, or that real… I get scared sometimes. Me, scared, can you imagine it? Sometimes I wonder if maybe I'm nothing but evil… and that I don't really have a soul…" As she rambled on her voice became quieter, the words slurring together. Her eyes fluttered shut and she sank into her pillow, drifting down into sleep. "Don't… tell…" she breathed, giving in to the inviting darkness and sliding gracefully into slumber. Beast Boy had long since drifted off and he remained curled up against the top of her head, purring contently.

It was Raven's whimpering that awoke him just as the sun finally started to peak out over the top of the mountains, casting a beat of light across the bed. His head rose slowly and he blinked, staring down at her. Her face had twisted into an expression of torture and she clenched the sheets in her hands, beads of sweat already starting to form on her forehead. He cooed a bit and nuzzled her softly, hoping it would comfort her. She calmed for a moment before tensing up again, muttering something in her native tongue that he could never hope to understand. Beast Boy stood up and moved down to her hand, rubbing his nose against it and whining in distress.

'What should I do? If she catches me still here, she'll castrate me… if she catches me still here in HUMAN form, she'll flat out KILL ME.' He debated inwardly for several minutes, staring up at her face and watching her intensely. It was only when the first of tears started forming at the corners of her eyes and fell down her face did he make a decision. He moved to the opposite side of her bed and transformed quickly, reaching out to stroke her hand.

"Raven… hey Rae, it's alright…" he whispered soothingly. He was torn between the two choices of either waking her up or leaving her to play the nightmare through. Waking her up would deprive her of what little rest she was getting before training; on the other hand, allowing the nightmare to continue would most likely cause more stress on her than she was already under. He was not the only one who had noticed her decreasing appetite and increasing reclusive behavior, though he was sure he was the only one who heard her screams in the night, and he feared more nightmares would result in more damage. Above all, he refused to leave her side while she was in this condition, thusly resulting in the only two options available to him.

'Maybe it'll just die down on its own…' he attempted to rationalize, still gently stroking her hand idly. A choked sob escaped her throat suddenly and that one noise made up his mind for him. He eased himself down next to her and reached out, one arm sliding under her at the waist and the other wrapping around her shoulders. He pulled her close, rolling her up onto her hip, and cradled her head against his shoulder blade. "Shh, shh, it's okay Raven, I won't let anyone hurt you…" he murmured, playing with her hair.

_…pain… darkness…_

His hand moved from her hair down her back in a single, smooth motion and he pulled her closer, pressing them chest-to-chest and feeling the rise and fall of her breasts as she breathed steadily.

_No more pain… please make it stop…I don't want to be afraid anymore…_

She remained tense in his arms and he started rocking her back and forth, cradling her at the base of her back. "Come back, Rae… come back…"

_Out of the darkness and the pain, out of the fear and confusion, out of everything that felt as though it were drowning her, someone's hands reached out and enveloped her. They were calling her name, coaxing them to follow her. A familiar scent lingered in the air, one that she could not place a name to but brought her immense comfort. _

_She followed._

Beast Boy was both surprised and relieved when her arms came up to rest against his shoulders, her hands gripping the fabric of his shirt.

"… don't tell…" she whispered, the same desperate sentence that had slipped past her lips just before sleep had claimed her less than an hour previous. Her eyes were half-open, glazed over with a distant expression; upon reawakening she would not remember this. He pulled her even closer and rested his chin on her head.

"I won't, I promise. Go back to sleep." She complied quickly, returning to the world of dreams with only a barely audible sigh as a reply. Her muscles relaxed and the nightmares, for the first time since Slade's estranged return, receded. Beast Boy waited for any form of return from them, and when it was apparent that they were being held at bay for the moment, he closed his own eyes and followed her down into the dark.

_/It doesn't matter anymore/_

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_That had been the first night that she had allowed him to touch her. When her alarm had gone off, signaling that it was time to rise and get ready for training, he had made quick work of becoming a fly and slipping out into the hallway through the small crack between the bottom of her door and the floor. At training they hadn't spoken a word about the events that had conspired the night before, but something had been different in the way she looked at him that day. In her own way, Raven had thanked him silently for everything he had done for her. _

_In the two years that had followed, they had somehow come together; two years later had found them deeply in love, though the words were still hard-coming to the gothic beauty. _

_Two years had also found them in the middle of their first real fight as a couple. _

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When the fight broke out, Robin was not entirely surprised; the tension had been building between Raven and Beast Boy for almost a month now (though it was mostly a one-sided exasperation on Raven's part) and it had become apparent to the others that it would only be a matter of time before one of them, most likely Raven, would explode. That breaking point came after dinner one night, which found the five titans lounging lazily in the main room. Robin was flipping through the infinite channels on the satellite dish, grumbling something about there being nothing good on even with over five hundred channels available, while Starfire was resting contently with her head in his lap and her long legs sprawled out across the couch. Cyborg was occupied in the kitchen, basting large slabs of ribs for the picnic planned for the next day. Raven, as usual, had sought refuge in a corner of the room with a book in her lap and a mug of tea at her side. This left only Beast Boy, who was about as interested in the TV's offerings as Robin was and would sooner commit suicide than step foot into the kitchen. With these two options quickly extinguished, he turned his focus to the only other pastime he could find; harassing Raven. The two had been dating for just over a year, and it was indeed so an accomplishment that two people who were as different as night and day had managed to hold things together as well as they had with only a few minor spats. When it had first become apparent to their teammates that the pair had moved their relationship above friendship, speculation had reared its ugly head. Beast Boy's rather bold dare and Raven's uncharacteristic acceptance that had led to their first date had certainly been odd enough, but the others had simply figured it would be an awkward night out and nothing more; and there they were now, having just passed their one year anniversary and managing quite well indeed. Watching them now, however, seeing the mischievous look that haunted Beast Boy's eyes, Robin had a sinking feeling that their first real fight was mere minutes away from breaking out.

It started innocently enough; Beast Boy slinked over to Raven's corner and sat down next to her, peeking over her shoulder at the book she was reading.

"Watcha readin'?"

"A book."

"What kind of book?"

"A big, dark book."

"By who?"

Raven removed her eyes from their focus on her book to glance up at him, the first tinges of annoyance apparent in her violet orbs.

"A man named Dante, if you must know. It's called _Inferno_."

He paused for a moment and she returned to reading, assuming that the conversation had come to an end. They had spent almost the entire day together and before they crawled off to bed Raven desired a few hours to herself. Beast Boy apparently had other plans. He draped himself over her lap, burying his face in the book.

"What's it about?" he questioned, removing his face from the binding of her book to smile up at her with green eyes that had become large and puppy-like. A nerve popped out directly above her left eye, but she bit back on the snide comment that wanted to come and instead gave him a weak, strained smile.

"A lot of things… the nine layers of Hell and the damnation of souls…"

"Ooh, WICKED! I wanna read it!"

"Later, Beast Boy… I'm almost done with this chapter, and then we'll go to bed." He pouted a bit but reluctantly removed his head from her book and instead sat at her side, quietly watching while she continued to read. For a few minutes all remained silent between the two and the other slowly relaxed (they had been on edge the moment the nerve appeared on Raven's forehead). Then Beast Boy, who had apparently become bored with simply watching his girlfriend read her book, determined he would enjoy picking at her instead. It started out small, going unnoticed to the others and completely ignored by Raven; Beast Boy sat up and began to play with her hair, running his fingers through the short strands. When it became obvious that he was not gaining her attention he resorted to the only other tactic he knew; removing the item that WAS gaining her attention. Mere moments passed before Raven registered that her book was no longer nestled in her lap, but once she did a look slipped over her face that plainly stated that she was NOT amused. She was on her feet in moments, the anger and annoyance clear in the posture of her body.

"Beast Boy, bring it back," she demanded, all traces of patience gone. The green young man grinned and clutched the item to his chest, his eyes glowing with mischief. This had become a game to him; a play he did not realize could very well end in disaster.

"You want it back? Come and get it…"

"Beast Boy, maybe you best give her back her book…" Robin warned, attempting to become the mediator. His words fell on deaf ears as the changeling darted around the kitchen table and into the living room, Raven stalking after him. It was evident that she was doing her best to keep her temper in check, but even her well-controlled restraint was rapidly slipping from her grasp.

"Garfield… baby…" she muttered, attempting to make her voice as calm and loving as she could, "please give me back my book, and then we can go to bed. I'll even read you one of the chapters before we go to sleep."

"No way! This is way more entertaining than any story!" he retorted, clutching the large book to his chest. It was obviously old and well-loved, judging by the faded leather binding and the frilling of the pages. Few of Raven's books looked so warn, an immediate indication that this particular text meant quite a great deal to her. Raven's shoulder gave a violent twitch at his words and a nearby lamp exploded, sending shards of glass flying everywhere and causing the others to jump.

"Garfield…" she warned, her eyes starting to glow read, "give me back my book."

"Say please!" he taunted, noting that he had already angered her. Now the game had changed; rather than teasing her, he wanted to see how far he could push her patience and love for him before she finally snapped.

"Give me the damn book!" she screamed, her hair lifting up around her face as two more eyes opened up where her eyebrows were. Beast Boy's taunting look vanished instantly and he stepped forward to comply with her demand.

And that was the point at which everything went to Hell in a hand basket.

It his now-panicked scramble to return the item to his girlfriend, Beast Boy's foot caught the side of the table. He fell forward, the book flying out of his hand and connecting with Starfire's full glass of juice, which was already sitting precariously close to the edge of the table. Both items fell to the floor and the glass released its sugary contents all over the pages of Raven's book, staining them instantly. Silence fell over the group as shock stole their muscle movements, leaving no one to save the ancient text from its fate. After several moments all eyes shifted to Raven, who in turn was staring at the ruined book. The extra set of eyes had disappeared and her hair had settled back down around her face, which held an expression that fluctuated between extreme anger and unbelieving heartbreak. Her gaze shifted to Beast Boy for a fraction of a second and he could see the tears dancing behind her eyes, screaming to be let out, before she turned quickly on her heel and disappeared through the door leading to the roof.

Raven's exit seemed to release the unseen force constricting her teammates' muscles and everyone moved at once the moment the door slid shut behind her. Robin went into the kitchen to retrieve paper towels while Beast Boy and Starfire attempted to salvage what they could of the book. Cyborg dug through the innumerable bottles of cleaners under the sink in search of something that would take the violent red stain out of the carpet.

"It is ruined…" Starfire said softly, removing the cup from atop the book and looking over the tainted, dampened pages sadly. Beast Boy could only nod in reply, gently lifting the text from its spot on the floor and carrying it into the kitchen for further examination. The pages, being so old, had actually melted the moment the sugary drink had touched them. There was not hope of restoration, given that the simple trip to the kitchen had caused a few of the pages to fall out completely, leaving a trail across the living room floor.

"BB dude, you really messed up this time…" Cyborg muttered, starting to scrub the juice out of the carpet, "what possessed you to take her book in the first place?"

"…I don't know… I just… I wanted her to pay attention to me, I guess… and when she didn't, I did what I could do to make her…"he whispered, his voice thick with tears.

"You've been dating her over a year now and you couldn't come up with a better way to get her attention? Or you couldn't figure out that she just wanted to be left alone?" The cybernetic young man scolded, scrubbing harshly at the carpet.

"Cy, leave him alone, he feels bad enough as it is, and it was just a harmless game that turned into an accident," Robin chastised, moving to assist Beast Boy with the book, "so give it a rest." He missed the glare that Cyborg shot over at him as he leaned over to observe the pages, a frown slipping over his lips. "You can try and take it to a restoration shop, but it's going to cost you quite a lot, assuming that it can even be salvaged." He placed a paper towel over the pages and closed the book carefully, turning to look at Beast Boy. The changeling nodded listlessly and placed his hand on the cover, gently slipping his finger between the heavy leather and the first page and lifting slowly. Almost immediately he noticed a note scrawled on the first page, which was otherwise blank.

"Raven, my darling…" he read aloud, causing the others to halt in their activities to listen, "I know that life has never been easy for you, and I cannot say if it ever will be… but I wish for you two know that I do love you, have always loved you and always will. You have grown into a beautiful young lady that I am truly proud of and I know that you will achieve great things in life. Just remember that you always have a home here in Azarath. Always and forever Arella (Angela Roth). Dated April the 26th in the year 2000." An uncomfortable silence fell over the group as Beast Boy finished reading and closed the book, a lump forming in his throat. "… I have to go talk to her…" Cyborg opened his mouth to protest as Beast Boy turned towards the door to the roof and Robin stopped him, shaking his head.

"Let him work this one out on his own – this is their relationship, they need to handle it." Cyborg glanced at the door Beast Boy had disappeared through moments before, and nodded softly.

Let's just hope he doesn't end up making it worse," he whispered, turning away, "Let's finish cleaning up."

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_/It's not always rainbows and butterflies/_

_/It's compromise that moves us along/_

The moon was full and bright in the sky when Beast Boy emerged onto the room of the tower, his eyes scanning carefully for Raven. She was perched on the edge of the roof, her feet dangling over the side and her back towards the changeling. He approached her slowly and took a seat at her side, knowing that touching her would not be the smartest thing to do right now. She paid him only a glance before turning her attention back to the city lights, her jaw clenched tightly in anger.

"… I'm sorry…" he finally whispered, his voice low and remorseful. Her eyes shifted to look at him again, some of the tension in her shoulders and face fading. She didn't say anything, however, apparently still not trusting herself to speak. "How can I make this up to you?" he continued, wanting more than anything to correct his error. Over the year their relationship had developed he had made more than one mistake; however, they were usually minor and were resolved within a matter of hours at most. But this… this was far worse than any spat they had ever had. Beast Boy had become accustomed to making up by the end of the night and the thought of going to bed knowing that Raven was still upset with him was not an idea that was settling well in his gut.

"You can go away and leave me alone…" she whispered, her voice tight and her tone controlled, "I need some time to cool off."

"… Raven…"

"You asked me what you can do to make it up to me, and I've told you; now respect my wishes and leave me be." While her tone was still smooth and cold as ice he could hear the heat of rage boiling just below the surface; it clearly told him to get out of this situation and her personal space before she lost it on him completely.

"Oh… okay, Raven…" he replied, getting to his feet and heading towards the door. Her attention stayed focused on the landscape before her, her posture slightly hunched as she propped her elbows on her legs and rested her chin in her hands. He realized with sudden sadness that he wanted nothing more that to touch her, to confirm that they still had what had taken so long to build up to the level it was at now. "…I love you, Raven…" he whispered, knowing that in the silence of the night she heard him. There was no reply, as he had expected there wouldn't be, and he resigned himself to a night alone and slipped through the door in silence to leave her alone with her thoughts.

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Sleep had not been easy for the changeling; he had discovered that when you spend several months sharing a bed with another person attempting to find dreamland alone is an exceedingly difficult task. He finally gave up as the sun crept across his floor, dragging himself out of bed and slinking down to the kitchen to locate any form of beverage with a high caffeine content. There was no soda, as it had all been consumed the night before during their evening relaxing, which left him with juice, caffeine-free herbal tea, and coffee. Ten minutes later Beast Boy had situated himself at the table, a freshly-brewed cup of coffee resting before him. He had added enough soy milk and sugar to make the beverage drinkable, at least by his own standards, and he now flipped through a phone book while sipping at his drink.

"Let's see… relaxation, relay, rely, rest… restoration. Okay, so… antiques, clothing, furniture… texts. Texts and manuscripts." Beast Boy muttered to himself, rising to retrieve a pen and paper from beside the phone. He jotted down the names of all the locations in town listed in the book and then sat back, taking another sip from his coffee. He left the remainder of the pot sitting on the counter for the next titan that rose and grabbed Raven's book, placing it carefully in a plastic bag and then heading back to his rarely-used room to retrieve a backpack. The door slid open before him and he stepped in quickly, digging through the mounds of junk on his floor before emerging with a powder-blue bag. Carefully he slid the delicate item into the largest pouch and zipped it shut, slinging it over his shoulder and turning to go. At the last moment a picture on his bedside table caught his eyes and he halted, reaching out to grab it. It had been taken six months previous and showed Raven and himself together at the park, sitting side-by-side and smiling as the vibrant colors of exploding fireworks reflected off their faces. His arm was around her shoulders and she had her hand on his leg. He smiled at the memory and tucked the framed picture carefully into his backpack before slipping out his bedroom door, down the stairs, and out into the warm summer morning.

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"…how much?" The man behind the counter cocked his head at the young green titan standing before him.

"The price to restore this book would start at a minimum of $200.00… this is quite an old text and the damage that has been done would be difficult to repair, provided it could be done at all," he explained again, carefully flipping through the book as he spoke. Beast Boy gulped softly and stared at the countertop, struggling to control the tears that threatened to escape from the pools they had formed below his eyes. That was a lot of money… he had known that it was going to be expensive, but he hadn't even FATHOMED that it would be THAT much.

"… and there's no place I could purchase a replacement?"

"Not an exact copy, no. This publication dates back to the early 1800's; it's quite an antique, actually. I would ask you if you wanted to sell it, as I could still fetch a pretty penny for it even in its damaged condition, but I'm fairly certain that your lady friend would be even more upset with you than she undoubtedly is if you did…" Beast Boy looked up at the man, confusion written across his features. The skin around the kind eyes staring back at him crinkled with age as he smiled and pointed to the open book, indicating the message Raven's mother had written on the first page.

"So… what should I do?" he finally whispered in reply once he had a moment to compose himself. The man clicked his tongue softly, tapping the tips of his fingers on the countertop.

"Well… you do have the option of getting some form of job on the side. You could pay for the restoration process that way. However, if it ends up becoming an extensive task, it could get rather pricey and you could be saving for several months. The other option, of course, is to search around until you find a copy as close to this one as you can. You will still end up paying a high price for it; it just won't be as expensive. There are a few bookstores in Gotham City that might have a copy quite similar to this one, I would suggest making the journey there first." Beast Boy nodded and gathered the book up carefully, slipping it back into his backpack before smiling at the shopkeeper.

"Thanks again."

"Anytime. I'll make sure to keep my eyes open for a similar copy, and I'll call you if one happens to show up," the shopkeeper replied, giving him another warm smile. For a moment Beast Boy seemed lost in thought and he didn't respond, staring into space with a glazed look in his eyes. Then he smiled weakly and lifted his hand in a wave, slipping quietly out the door and onto the bustling streets of downtown Jump City.

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Despite the old man's advice Beast Boy checked every bookstore in Jump City before deciding that a trip to Gotham City was an inevitable part of his future if he hoped to find another copy of the book. The sun was just starting to sink below the horizon when he stepped into the train station, taking a place in line and digging through his pockets for his wallet. He had only enough money with him for a ticket there and would be forced to find another means of returning to Jump City if he was to use what little money was in his bank account for a replacement book. Once his ticket had been purchased he stepped to the side to wait, retrieving his communicator from his backpack and flipping it open. Almost instantly Robin's face appeared on the screen.

"Beast Boy? Is there trouble!" he asked, worry apparent on his face and in his tone. The changeling couldn't help but smile; since no one ever bothered to call in for random checkups unless they were on a mission, Robin just assumed that something was wrong if they made contact.

"No, Robin… I just called to let you know I'm going out of town."

"What if there's a problem? How are you going to get back in time?"

"…I guess I'm not…" he replied softly. There was a moment of silence between the two and then Robin nodded.

"Okay. Just get home as soon as you can. We'll handle things here." Beast Boy nodded and went to close his communicator, pausing just as he was about to snap it shut.

"Hey Robin?"

"Yeah?"

"Take care of Raven while I'm gone." Robin smiled back at him and nodded, glancing off to the side for a moment before his attention returned to his teammate.

"Will do. Robin out."

The screen went black and Beast Boy sighed softly, slipping the small device back into his backpack and returning it to his shoulders. He took a seat on the bench behind him and leaned against the wall. Already the sun was almost completely gone, meaning that he had spent his entire day downtown in an endless search for a replacement for Raven's book. Having missed his usual afternoon cat nap he now felt close to exhausted and wanted nothing more than to lie down and sleep. He wasn't sure what he was going to do about accommodations tonight, as he wasn't sure how much Raven's book was going to be, but he decided that that was something he could wait and see about. With any luck he could find another book that wouldn't cost too much and could return home tomorrow. Beast Boy checked his watch and then glanced down at the ticket.

"Just one more hour…" he muttered, closing his eyes. He just hoped that everything would be fine until he returned.

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"I'm going after him."

Robin was completely unsurprised by Raven's statement; in fact, he had expected her to speak up when Beast Boy was still on the line.

"How will you find him?" he countered, watching as the young empath put her book aside and started to pull on a pair of tennis shoes.

"I have a pretty good idea of where he's going," she replied, moving to the closet and grabbing one of Beast Boy's jackets, "and if worse comes to worse the clerk at the ticket booth can tell me. Titan or not, it's rather difficult to forget a green-skinned young man."

"We'll all go then; the drive won't take as long as the train, which is undoubtedly the way he's going."

"No. This is my battle, let me fight it alone. If we run into trouble I'll contact you."

"But –"

"Someone has to stay here and guard the city, Robin; it's best this way." The Boy Wonder bit his lip but nodded his head grudgingly, watching as she headed for the door.

"Are you alright?" he asked, so softly that he thought for a moment she wouldn't hear him.

"…I slept off most of my anger and took some time to think about it. He didn't do it maliciously or intentionally, and it is just a book; granted, my mother gave it to me, and that makes it irreplaceable… but he's worth far more than any book could ever be," she replied, turning to look at him briefly before continuing to the door.

"… you really love him…"

Raven stopped for a moment, as if contemplating his words, and for a moment it appeared that she was going to say something. Then, without any form of response, she continued on her way. Robin's only answer was the click of the front door as it slid shut.

3-3-3-3-3

"Platform 15 to Gotham City is now boarding. All passengers please form one line at each door and have your ticket ready for verification." The sound of the announcer's voice brought Beast Boy out of the light doze he had drifted into and he grunted and cracked his eyes open, looking around drowsily. Other people, obviously heading to Gotham City, were already forming queues in front of the boarding docks. He yawned and stretched, hearing a few joints crack and pop in futile protest, before he stood and fished his ticket out of his pocket while stepping up to the back of one of the lines. Those around him looked about as exhausted as he felt, standing with their own personal belongings clutched in their hands and waiting to get a seat so they could obtain some much-needed rest. The boarding process took only a few minutes and soon the changeling was curled up in a window seat, his forehead pressed against glass that was made cold by the A/C in the train car, as he began to drift back to sleep. He reached into his backpack slowly and withdraw the picture of himself and Raven together, looking it over slowly before he clutched it against his chest and closed his eyes.

"… is this seat taken?" The voice came so softly and so unexpectedly that as first Beast Boy assumed that he had simply imagined it. Then he thought better of it and cracked an eye open just to check. Raven was standing in the aisle way, practically drowning in his jacket, with a soft smile touching her lips. He sat up slowly, staring at her for a moment, before he slowly shook his head.

"No… it's free…" he replied. She nodded softly and eased herself down into the small seat, keeping her gaze directed straight forward. Under the jacket he could see a simple v-neck black shirt, the necklace he had given her for Valentine's Day around her neck. Her outfit was completed with stone-washed flair jeans and tennis shoes.

_/My heart is full and my door's always open/_

_/You can come anytime you want/ _

"So do you have a plan for when you get to Gotham? Or are you just going to sleep in an alleyway somewhere and pray you find what you're looking for when the sun comes up tomorrow?" Her tone was not angry but rather frank and straightforward, her head shifting slightly to look at him. He didn't reply and she continued, "And what about a ride home? How were you going to get back?"

"… I figured I would work that out when I got there. How did you know where to look?" Beast Boy whispered, his cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

"It wasn't hard; I could hear the sounds of the station when you called to tell Robin you were leaving… that, and Gotham is famous among many literary shops in town for having rare books and prints. I just put two and two together," she replied, settling back in her seat.

"…I'm really sorry about the book, Raven… I was being a jerk, and I went way too far…" Raven turned to look at him, watching as he hung his head shamefully. She reached out and slowly took his hand, stroking her thumb over his knuckles. He looked up at her through his bangs, a small flicker of hope in his eyes.

"…It's just a book, Garfield…" she finally whispered, as if she had been struggling for what to say, "Gotham is a dangerous place even if you do know where you're going and what you're doing, and I care about you too much to let you put yourself through that just for a material possession. So let's just forget about it and when the train arrives in Gotham we'll just turn around and go home."

"But the book – "

" – is not important right now. We'll worry about it tomorrow, after we've both gotten some sleep." Beast Boy looked as though there was more he wanted to say, but he seemed content to drop it for the moment as he leaned forward and brushed his lips against hers, causing them both to blush.

"Okay Rae…" he replied, sitting back and smiling at her.

"You look exhausted, Garfield… why don't you get some sleep? I've already purchased return tickets to Jump City, I'll wake you up when we get there…" Raven suggested, observing his sunk-in cheeks and red eyes. He nodded in agreement and yawned, easing his head down into her lap rather than bothering to morph into an animal.

"I love you Raven…" She didn't respond for a moment, and then he felt her hands run through his hair.

"Sleep…" she soothed, her own voice suddenly sounding drowsy. He nodded and closed his eyes, allowing the sound of her gentle breathing and her hands playing sensually through his hair to lull him into a deep, dreamless sleep. Raven clicked her tongue softly against the roof of her mouth, staring out the window as the lights of the city thinned into the darkness of the plains that separated Jump City from Gotham.

'Damn you Robin… you were right… I really DO love him…' her mind whispered, confessing the words she still, even after a year, could only bring herself to admit out loud when no one was there to hear them. She brushed Beast Boy's bangs from his forehead and bent down to lay a chaste kiss on his brow, bringing a smile to his lips. Raven then sat back and waited for the long trip home.

3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3

_'I never did replace her book… she insisted that it wasn't an issue and let the matter drop, and I was more than happy to oblige…' he pondered, a sad smile sliding across his face. With the memory of their first fight came the reminiscence of the dare that had started it all, the dare that had brought about their first date and the realization that he loved her and had been in love with her all along. The music continued along with her voice and he closed his eyes, feeling the rain continuing to pour down around him and run down his face in rivers from his dark hair. _

_"I don't mind spending every day…/_

_4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4_

_/… out on your corner in the pouring rain/_

"Hey Robin, is it bad to have a crush on your teammate?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well… I mean… say that I had a crush on one of the girls…"

"Raven."

"… well, one of the girls…"

"By which you mean Raven."

"… right. So anyway… what should I do about it?"

"Well, what do you WANT to do about it?"

"Dude, you're really not helping…" Robin sighed and turned his attention from the video game they were playing, looking at the changeling for the first time since the start of their conversation.

"I don't see what's so hard about this, Beast Boy… if you like her, ask her out. It worked for me and Starfire."

"Um, Robin? Have you noticed any differences in those two in the three years we've been a team? I'm pretty sure just waltzing up to Raven and saying 'Hey Rae, wanna go on a date?' isn't going to work quite as well with her and me as it did with you and Starfire."

"Well, then find another way to ask her out. Trick her into it if you have to."

"And how do you propose I do that?" he demanded as Robin stood, stretching out his stiff muscles before turning off the GameStation XL.

"You're the master of jokes and trickery, BB… I'm sure you'll figure something out," he replied, shooting his friend a sly smile before turning and disappearing through the door leading to the bedrooms. "Don't forget we have training at four today!" Beast Boy groaned and sat back, idly fidgeting with the controller still in his hands, before a soft smile began to spread across his face.

"Training, eh?" he muttered to himself, "perfect."

4-4-4-4-4

The look on Raven's face was less than friendly by the time Beast Boy's pounding on her door had pulled her away from her meditation. As usual the door slid open only enough to reveal her face and her hood was up, allowing only her piercing violet orbs and frowning mouth to show.

"What?" she asked coldly. While she had been thankful for his help with her nightmares a few months previous, it had caused something within her to stir, something she found to be exceedingly dangerous. Thusly Raven had taken the initiative to distance herself from him as much as she could, shooting cold glares at him anytime she caught him staring at her. Emotion was something that she could not afford to indulge herself with, even now that the threat of Trigon was gone, and only a complete moron would mistake the butterflies in their stomach for something other than affection.

"Don't look so happy to see me," he replied jokingly, a smile plastered across his face. Raven raised an eyebrow at him, though he obviously couldn't see it.

"Is there a point to your disturbance or are you just here to annoy me?"

"Well, actually… I had a question for you," he replied, giving her a sugary-sweet smile that instantly put her on her guard, "I was wondering what you were doing Saturday night…"

"… am I to be assuming that you are asking me out on a date?" she questioned, disbelief and surprise underlining her tone. He blushed a bit in reply and rubbed the back of his head, laughing softly.

"Yeah, I guess I am…"

_/Look for the girl with the broken smile/_

_/And ask her if she wants to stay awhile/_

"Not interested," she replied flatly, the door starting to slide shut. He reached out and stuck his foot in the small gap between her door and the wall, stopping her from shutting herself away. He earned another piercing glare from her in reply.

"Come on Rae! I mean, I know you don't like crowds or anything, and I'm pretty sure you don't like me, but it would be fun! You can't hide in there forever you know!"

"Actually, I can; it's worked for three years and I am fairly sure it will continue to work. Now, if you don't mind, I WAS meditating and would like to get back to it." She motioned to his foot still jammed in her doorway and looked at him expectantly.

"But Raven –"

"I said NO!" she screamed, eyes igniting with a white glow. Immediately he stumbled back and the door slid shut, separating them.

"Um, okay! See you at 4 pm training!" he called, hurrying down the hallway before she could respond. One would expect him to be discouraged after being shot down, especially considering all the effort he had put into his proposal; so had anyone seen the almost wicked smirk on his face, they definitely would have suspected that this was far from over. No one was around to witness his expression, however, and the changeling was left in peace to enter his room and set his plan in motion.

4-4-4-4-4

Raven had attempted to return to mediation, only to find it a useless and wasted effort. His question had broken all concentration she had possessed and she now lay on her bed, staring up at the ceiling with an annoyed look plastered across her face.

'Damn him!' she cursed internally, clutching the pillow supporting her head with her hand, 'how dare he! How dare he do this to me! He had no right to ask me out on a date, he KNOWS I can't afford to feel anything! Even if I could, it wouldn't be for HIM!'

_'Oh of course… because it's not like you don't feel something for him already. You just go on believing that lie, Raven...' _

A sigh escaped the young woman's lips as the voice of Rage rose in the back of her mind, taking on a sarcastic tone that was laced with cruelty. It was rare that the emotions would actually talk to her directly when she was outside the mirror, especially when the one talking to her happened to still possess the last remnants of her father's soul that had at one time lived within her.

'I am fully willing to admit that I do have feelings for him; this would not make such a huge deal to me if I did not. It is the fact that I cannot ACT on those feelings that causes me to hold my silence. What good would it do me to confess them to him if I couldn't follow through on them?'

_'Not like he can actually like you anyway; you and I both know he only asked you out because he has some kind of underlining motive. He thinks you're creepy, remember?'_

"Don't rub it in…" she muttered aloud, rolling onto her side to stare out the large window that made up a wall of her room. The sun shone down brightly upon the city, the sky a brilliant blue.

Raven hated this weather.

_'But that's what I'm here for, Raven – to keep you in line. I'm the one who makes sure you never forget what you are, how your life is to work; I'm the painful reminder that happiness, companionship and love are things a half-breed such as yourself can neither have nor deserve.'_

'Hey, do me a favor… go back to being sealed away where you belong.' As she thought Rage away she did as commanded, slipping back into the deepest recessed of her mind to slumber until another misbalance of her emotions would awake her again. Raven lay still for several minutes, her eyes focused on the window but her gaze lost somewhere in thought. She finally rolled over again, electing to stare at the wall instead, and allowed herself to drift off into a light sleep.

4-4-4-4-4

4 o'clock rolled around far too slow for the changeling, but finally it did arrive. The sun was just starting to lower itself towards the mountains when the five teammates met outside at the obstacle course.

"Okay team… we're each going to run the course once, then compare our previous stats with the new ones, then run the course again. If your starts do not improve by at least a ten second reduction in run time and a five percent defense increase, you will perform the course until you do meet these requirements. Understood?" Robin's voice was stern and commanding, as it always was whenever they were engaged in titan business. Everyone nodded in agreement and Robin looked down to the control panel before him, pressing a few buttons.

"Alright, we'll start with the person whose stats require the most improvement; Beast Boy, you're up." The changeling took his place without a word and hunched over slightly, ready to morph at the sound of the buzzer. "Your previous time is one minute and forty-seven seconds with a twenty-three percent defense level. Remember your goals." Beast Boy nodded and closed his eyes, forcing himself to focus; if he was going to put his plan in motion, he was going to have to improve those statistics by a lot more than just the minimum requirement.

"GO."

The young man was off like a rocket, transforming into a pterodactyl and taking to the sky. He dodged the lasers as they shot at him, swooping down and changing instantly into a cheetah to rush through the mashers before they could hit him. At the monitoring station Robin and Raven watched his statistics with growing fascination. He was rapidly approaching the half-way point of the course with only thirty-five seconds hovering on the board; if he could complete the course in less than one minutes and sixteen seconds he would surpass Robin's time score and take first place.

"He never completes anything this fast, or this efficiently; he's usually the one to half-ass his way through most training. Something definitely has motivated him," Raven speculated aloud, watching him morph into a hummingbird and soar over the pit that seemed to open out of nowhere. As metallic arms reached out of the darkness to grab him he shifted yet again, taking the form of an emerald dragon and shooting streams of fire that toasted his metal foes within moments. His time now stood at forty-nine seconds and there was only one more section of the course to complete; Beast Boy charged into it without hesitation, the thought of his plan now being within his grasp pushing his adrenaline-filled body onward. His body once again took on the form of a cheetah and he rushed through the mine field, darting back and forth quickly as mere centimeters behind him the detonations were activated and sprayed fire and debris around him. Only once was he caught off-guard, adding two seconds to his time. His foot crossed the finish line at one minute and twenty seconds even, placing him in second place and only four seconds behind Robin. There was a momentary hush amongst the others before Starfire and Cyborg burst into loud cheering and rushed over to pat their friend on the back.

"Delightful, Beast Boy, you performed amazingly!" the Tamaranian gushed, engulfing her friend in a victory hug. Cyborg slapped the boy on the back, nearing knocking him off his feet. Robin joined them, an impressed smile on his face.

"Nice work Beast Boy. You dropped twenty-seven seconds from your previous time and increased defense by almost fifteen percent; because of your outstanding improvement, you do not need to run the course a second time." The green being nodded and smiled, glancing up at Raven. She was staring down at him from the control booth in silence, her eyes unreadable and her lips pressed together tightly. Up until that point she had strongly held second place on the statistics, and while a push back to third place was by no means unbearable, it was still a bit of an embarrassment, an emotion the girl resented above almost anything else. He could see the competition burning in her eyes and resisted the urge to smirk; part one of his plan was complete. The other titans quickly followed after Beast Boy, each in order of their standing scores. Starfire dropped from 1:40 to 1:29, Cyborg dropped from 1:34 to 1:27, Raven dropped from 1:29 to 1:24, and Robin maintained 1:16. Each titan also increased their defense standing by at least three percent.

"Nice hustle! Now remember through this second run that time must drop by ten seconds and defense increase by five percent. We're not going to go in order this time, so does anyone volunteer to go first?" There was a moment of silence between the other titans and then Raven stepped forward.

"I will." Robin nodded, looking up at Beast Boy in the operating booth.

"Set her up for start in ten seconds," he called, turning back to Raven and watching her head for the starting point.

'Well… now or never…' Beast Boy thought to himself, standing up, "Hey Raven!" At hearing her name she halted and slowly turned to look at him. "I have a bet for you! If your stats come in worse than mine, I get to take you out on a date Saturday!"

If Raven's eyes had widened any further, they would have fallen out of her sockets. Her jaw dropped opened and she looked as though she was struggling for words. The others stared at Beast Boy in shock and a smug smile touched his lips as confidence pulsated through his veins and he continued.

"You have to wear a dress too! With SPARKLES!" The look on her face shifted instantly, moving from surprise to anger in the span of moments. Her eyes took on a white glow and her hands clenched into fists at her side, her hair flying around her face and blowing her hood away from her head. Beast Boy gulped a bit and took a step back, fear reflecting in his eyes. Oh God, she was really going to kill him this time! Then, as fast as the anger had come it vanished and she turned away, returning her hood to its position over her head.

"Fine," she stated plainly, stepping back up to the start line. Beast Boy released the breath he had been holding and sat back down in his seat slowly, starting the timer. Raven stood waiting, desperately attempting to regain her now-shot composer. She had to beat him; for both her pride and her person comfort, she HAD to top one minutes twenty seconds and twenty-nine percent defense; For her SANITY, she HAD to win.

'Calm down!' her rational mind screamed, 'you can do this! You can better his score, you always have!' It wasn't the time she was concerned about; five seconds less than her current standing time would more than push her into a better hustle standing. Rather, it was the defense statistic that left her more than just a little concerned. She was reluctant to admit it, but his improvement today had impressed even her; raising a defense percent by fifteen percent was an admirable accomplishment, not to mention an exceedingly difficult one.

'_Getting a little edgy? You should be.'_

'Oh Azar, GO AWAY!' With precious few moments before she was to begin she struggled to focus herself, pushing both Rage and Beast Boy's words into the back of her mind. 'FOCUS!'

"GO!" The buzzer sounded along with Robin's command and Raven wasted not a moment, taking off and throwing herself full-force into the challenge. As she made her way quickly through the course Beast Boy bit his bottom lip; as always her stats were looking to be beatable only by Robin. She was just entering the second stage of the track and already her defense had increased by six percent.

'Maybe this was a dumb idea…' he thought to himself, his ears drooping a bit as he sat back in his chair and closed his eyes. The seconds ticked by and he couldn't bear to watch them do so, already knowing that she was going to meet his challenge and beat it.

It was the ear-piercing scream of pain that shattered the air and caused his eyes to fly open. He stood up and looked around wildly, panic flooding his chest; after three years of living with her, he would recognize her scream anywhere. She was sprawled out on the ground a few feet away from the masher, holding her left arm against her chest with her head bent down to conceal the expression of pain that would undoubtedly be on her face. In the span of moments he had transformed into a bird and was rushing to her side. He knew just by the way she was curled in on herself that it was broken, most likely at the wrist.

"Raven!" he cried, regaining human form and bending at her side.

"Get away from me…" she whispered vehemently, pain underlining her tone.

"Raven, please –"

"I said GET AWAY!" she screamed, raising her head to reveal two sets of glowing red eyes. She disappeared in a flash of black energy just as the others joined them. They all stared at the spot where she had been in silence for several moments before Robin finally sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"What happened?" Beast Boy ventured, turning to look at the Boy Wonder.

"Not sure. Something must have distracted her, because she tripped and fell; the masher came down on her wrist before she could move or react. I'm almost positive her wrist is broken if not completely shattered, and she needs to go to a doctor." Beast Boy nodded in agreement and glanced up towards her window. This was entirely his fault; his proposal had somehow caused her loss of concentration that resulted in her accident.

"Maybe I should go talk to her…" he pondered aloud. Robin shook his head, a sad smile passing over his features.

"She seemed really upset… I think that Starfire should go speak with her first." The Tamaranian nodded, a worried look plastered across her face.

"I shall speak with Raven and convince her to seek medical attention for her injury." Beast Boy watched Starfire take flight and head for the roof, a quicker access point into the section of the tower where the bedrooms were. He sighed and looked out across the bay towards the city.

'What have I done?'

4-4-4-4-4

The moment Raven had sought refuge in her room she had permitted the tears she had been holding back to pour freely down her face. She could remember crying very few times in her life, excluding the times she would wake up from a nightmare to discover that she had been weeping in her sleep. Malchior had made her cry twice, something that to this day she still found both amazing and infuriating. He had played on her emotions, pointing out to her in one of her weakest moments that she was always going to be alone no matter how hard she tried to fit in. His words had convinced her to release him from the book he was imprisoned in, a move that nearly cost her both her home and her friends. She had ended up sealing him away once more, but… the thought that she had put her teammates, her FAMILY, in danger, even if it had been unintentionally, burned at her conscious even now. The second time had been weeks after the incident when she could no longer ignore the pain his betrayal had bestowed upon her heart. Raven had taken sanctuary in the confines of Cyborg's car, turning up her mix CD to such a level that she had feared that it would either blow out the speakers and windows in his car or puncture her eardrums. Ironically enough, that had also been the first time anyone (other than Malchior and her mother) had seen her cry. Beast Boy must have pounded on the car door for several minutes before he summoned the courage to open the door, revealing her hiding place and efficiently scaring the Hell out of her. The memory of his kindness that followed ebbed a bit of her anger and she curled up on her bed, sniffling pathetically and nursing her aching wrist. A timid knock on the door signaled that someone had come to check on her and she sighed, sitting up and wiping her eyes.

"It's open," she called, watching as the door slid open and her best friend entered.

"Friend, are you alright?" Starfire questioned, moving to sit next to Raven. She looked to the empath's wrist, her brow furrowing in concern.

"Please permit me to escort you to a medical facility…"

"… why did he do it?" Starfire paused, cocking her head in confusion. Then Raven's question suddenly made sense and a soft smile slid across her face.

"I cannot say for sure, but I do believe that he has feeling for you; perhaps he felt that there was no other way to convince you to join him on an outing."

"But why me? Look at his past love interest; Terra and I couldn't have been more different if we had tried."

"If your planet, your culture, has taught me anything, it is that love can be found in the most unexpected places and can exist between the most diverse people. Beast Boy is not one I would consider 'your type', but it is apparent that you enjoy each others' company. Is that not what matters most?" Raven's brow furrowed a bit at Starfire's words; for someone who talked as much as the Tamaranian did, she was frustratingly perceptive when it came to the actions of those around her. She had thought she was doing an exceedingly good job of hiding her growing affections for the changeling; apparently she had been mistaken.

"What do you mean, 'it's apparent that I enjoy his company'?"

"It is not that hard to notice, if one takes the time to look; you always sit next to him whenever we are together, no matter where we are going or what we are doing. You blush whenever he bumps into you and you never make negative comments concerning his jokes anymore. There is something… different… in the way you act around him."

"And him? Is there something different with him?" Raven ventured. Starfire smiled, a sort of fond look in her eyes.

"He watches you often and speaks of you positively when you are not in the room. I believe that he has been summoning the courage to bring his feelings to you for quite some time now." Raven sat back slowly, leaning against her back of her bed, and took a few moments to absorb Starfire's words.

'Maybe… maybe he was sincere when he first asked me out this morning…'

"Raven, may we please venture to the hospital? I am still very much so concerned for your health, and your hand and arm look swollen and in extreme discomfort." As if to emphasize her words Starfire reached out and gingerly touched Raven's arm, causing the Azrathian to wince in pain as a sharp bolt of pain ran from her fingertips to her shoulder. She sucked in a deep breath to halt the tears that wanted to resurface and nodded quickly, getting to her feet. "Do not allow things with Beast Boy to bother you too much, Raven; things will work out in the end," the alien soothed, placing a comforting hand on her friend's shoulder. After a moment she turned away and went to locate Cyborg, who would already be waiting to drive them to the hospital. Raven watched her go, glancing down at her hand. A soft smile slipped over her lips despite the pain and she pulled her hood up over her head before sliding off the bed and following her best friend out the door.

'… it will be…'

4-4-4-4-4

The visit was short and to the point; x-rays were taken to determine how bad the break was and a soft cast was applied as support until the swelling went down to allow for a hard cast. Raven was sent home with a bottle of heavy painkillers and strict instructions to lay off crime fighting until further notice. She fell asleep in the back seat on the way home with her head leaned against the window, the Vicoden they had prescribed her numbing the pain and causing her head to swim with post-adrenaline exhaustion. Cyborg carried her to her room and she slept soundly through the night, waking the next morning to the smell of breakfast cooking in the kitchen and her stomach screaming with hunger. The pain in her wrist and arm had toned down to a low, dull throbbing ache and she took the bottle of medication with her as she journeyed downstairs for food and tea. Robin and Cyborg were standing in the kitchen making waffles when she arrived and the masked teen turned to smile at her.

"How are you feeling?" He asked, motioning for her to take a seat at the table. She did so and watched her set a kettle of water on to boil, a cup with a teabag already waiting on the counter.

"Better; the pain has lessened. Where are Starfire and Beast Boy?"

"Well, Starfire is taking a shower and Beast Boy is in his room, where he's been hiding since you left for the hospital. I think he feels like yesterday was his fault because you got hurt after he dared you to beat his stats." Raven sighed, shaking her head a bit.

"He's an idiot; I was the one who took his dare and I'm the one that tripped. My mistake is not his fault."

"And we tried to tell him that, but you know how he is; once he's got an idea in his head, nothing's going to change it." As Cyborg spoke he placed a few waffles onto a place and set them before Raven, handing her a knife and fork.

"Original, Strawberry, Blueberry, or SSS?" Raven blinked, cocking an eyebrow.

"What's SSS?"

"Starfire's Special Syrup." Raven cringed at the thought of eating ANYTHING Starfire had made and reached for her tea as Robin added water to the cup and extended it out to her.

"Original." Cyborg handed her the bottle and she poured a small amount over her waffles, starting to eat. "I'll talk to him after I eat…" she muttered through a mouthful of food. Robin nodded and took a seat next to her, starting to eat as well.

"So Rae, what ARE you going to do about his dare?" Robin asked, biting back on the sly smile that caused the corners of his mouth to twitch. Raven finished the last of her waffles and stood, walking over to the sink and depositing the plate in the dishwater already there.

"What can I say? I took a bet and I lost; I guess I'll be spending Saturday night in a sparkly dress with Beast Boy as company," she replied smoothly, walking up the stairs to the sleeping quarters and disappearing through the sliding door. Robin and Cy watched her go in silence, then turned to each other with large grins plastered across their faces. At the same time both spoke.

"She is SO into him!"

4-4-4-4-4

Beast Boy lay curled up on his bed, staring at the wall, when the soft knock on his door pulled him away from the comfortable drifting he had been doing for most of the night.

"Go away, Cyborg… I don't wanna play video games right now…" he muttered.

"Beast Boy, it's me. We need to talk." The green changeling winced as Raven's voice came through the door, soft but firm as it always was. For one moment he considered ignoring her in the hopes that she would go away and leave their conversation for another day; then the memory of yesterday came back full-force and guilt gripped his chest, causing new tears to well up in his eyes.

"… come in…" he whispered, burying his face against his pillow. The door slid open and he heard Raven make her way across his room, muttering something under her breath that sounded like 'what a pigsty' before she was suddenly sitting next to him on the top of his bed.

"Beast Boy –"

"I'm sorry…" he choked, unable to keep the thick sound of tears out of his voice, "you're hurt because of my stupid dare; I'm so sorry Raven…"

"First of all, my injury is not your fault, so stop feeling like it is," she replied bluntly, "and second of all, your dare is not what threw me off."

"Liar…" he accused, sniffling a bit, "it threw you off… you never falter during training…"

"…I'll admit that it threw me off…" she replied, looking at her one good hand, "but only because I LET it throw me off…"

"… you don't have to go through with my bet; it was mean of me to do that to you in the first place…"

"Why did you do it in the first place? Why are you trying so hard?" Beast Boy gave a soft, sad laugh and buried his face deeper in the pillow. What was the point of trying to hide it anymore? She was an empath, she would easily be able to see through any lie he conjured up.

"I like you, Raven… a lot. I've wanted to take you out on a date for a long time now… and when you rejected me, I was so upset I was willing to do almost anything to get you to say yes, even if it meant putting you in a position where you didn't have a choice." She was blushing by the time he had finished, staring at a spot on his wall as if it had suddenly become the most interesting thing in the world.

"… you really went to a lot of effort for this…" she finally realized, glancing at his back. He nodded wordlessly and she sighed, running a hand through her hair. "Skirt, not a dress… no sparkles, and I get to pick where we eat."

It took him several moments to comprehend what she had said, and by that point she had already left his side and was heading for the door. He sat up quickly and looked at her, and she turned to eye him over her shoulder.

"… you're hand is okay, right?"

"I'll live. Don't take this date as a sign that I like you or anything." And before he could reply she was gone.

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"Oh Raven, you look wonderful! I can hardly believe it is you staring back at us!" For once Raven had to agree with Starfire's statement. If not for the fact that she had just spent the last hour getting ready, she wouldn't have believed it either. The girl who stared back at her wore a thin layer of foundation on her face, her dark eyes lined in black and accented with just a modest touch of purple eye shadow. She had decided against any form of blush and was now glad for the choice; even the lightest shade would have offset her face incorrectly. Her hair was curled slightly at the ends and fell around her face, framing it in a way that seemed far more appealing than when it was straight and hung limp around her cheeks. Starfire had convinced her to purchase a large barrette at the mall that day and it now rested on the left side of her head, pinning back her bangs. She reached up and ran her fingertips along it slowly, feeling the multi-colored plastic gems that formed the shape of a butterfly.

That was just her face. The clothing she had picked out at the store complimented her perfectly and transformed her into a completely different young lady. Her outfit was simple yet had taken her hours to pick out. Starfire had wanted her to purchase something in a bright color and had eagerly spent most of their shopping excursion attempting to force her into shirts, skirts and dresses all colors of the pastel rainbow. While the Tamaranian's help was appreciated, as she had been the one to finally approve Raven's outfit, three hours of attempting to convince her best friend that she was NOT a gothic Barbie doll had more than worn down her patience. The clock had just hit five pm when finally she stumbled upon the perfect outfit in a tiny store called Gordmans; it consisted of a knee-length black skirt with blue trim and a deep-blue long-sleeved turtleneck sweater. Even though she had sworn to herself that nothing involving sparkles would touch her outfit, the shirt did indeed so glow with small flecks of silver that were part of the fabric of the skirt. The ensemble was just too good to pass up in the end and she had swallowed her words and put up with the sparkles, stopping by a Payless shoe store to pick up a pair of black boots as a completion to her outfit.

"You truly look beautiful, Raven; Beast Boy will be most amazed." Starfire's voice was, for once, soft and reserved and a deep smile blessed her face.

"It's not quite complete yet; there's a silver jewelry box sitting on the table by my bed. If you could bring it to me I would be grateful." Starfire nodded excitedly and practically danced her way across the room, retrieving the requested item and returning to Raven's side within moments. She nodded her head in thanks and opened the box, pulling out a set of earrings, a bracelet and a necklace. They were a matching set of deep blue gems set in silver and shaped like teardrops, and as Raven put them on Starfire realized that they were quite old and obviously not from their world.

"My mother gave them to me before I left Azarath," Raven commented, giving answer to Starfire's silent question, "the stone, even though it's blue, is called Dragon's Blood; it's exceedingly rare and almost impossible to obtain." The necklace possessed one single large charm while the bracelet was comprised of several tiny charms all linked together that clasped around her wrist. The earrings were the same size as the charms that made up the bracelet and dangled from Raven's ears on silver hooks.

"… do you think of her often?" Starfire ventured, reaching out to finger the pendant idly.

"Not often, but every once in a while; I dream about her a lot. She perished a few months ago when Trigon tried to take over."

"Oh Raven, I –"

"— It's not important, Starfire. We're getting off the subject anyway, and it's getting late. I best get downstairs before Beast Boy thinks I'm standing him up." The alien nodded and smiled at her friend, returning the jewelry box to its home before moving to the door. Raven checked herself over in the mirror one last time, feeling her heartbeat start to increase nervously, before grabbing the small black purse sitting on her bed and slinging it over her shoulder. The girls exchanged one last knowing smile before they exited in silence and headed for the main room.

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"BB man, calm down! She's not going to stand you up! First of all, she lives in the same tower as you, so avoiding you is damn well near to impossible! And second of all, I highly doubt that she spent almost six hours at the mall with Starfire just for her own health!"

"I know, I know! But I can't help being nervous! I'm going on a date, an actual DATE, with Raven! Do you have any clue how long I've been summoning up the courage to ask her out!"

"Probably about as long as you've been making out with your sock in your sleep and calling it Raven…" Cy replied, sending Robin and himself into fits of hysterical laughter. Beast Boy glared at his two best friends as they rolled around on the couch, holding their stomachs as their faces contorted into masks of amusement.

"Guys, this is serious! What if she ends up hating being out with me!"

"BB, calm down! If she was the one who came to you concerning the bet, she has to at least be curious as to what it's like to go out with you. Besides, you definitely look irresistible!" The green changeling was clad in a pair of baggy blue jeans and a short-sleeved brown tee-shirt that proudly stated 'Jenius' on the chest. It was covered by a long-sleeved black collared shirt and he had taken the time to gel his hair into something that resembled a style rather than a dark green mop.

"Cyborg, you better be saying that as a friend… 'cause it would by really awkward if you were actually hitting on me," Beast Boy commented, grinning as Robin burst out laughing and Cy blushed in embarrassment, making a face.

"Dude, that is not even REMOTELY funny!"

"Yeah it is!" Robin gasped, collapsing on the couch yet again. Cyborg opened his mouth to reply but was cut short by the sound of the door to the sleeping quarters sliding open. Beast Boy immediately turned to look, expecting to see Raven in nothing more than a simple shirt and a skirt. As his eyes landing on her they widened to an almost inhuman size and his mouth dropped open in shock.

It was like watching an angel descend from heaven. He had always found her attractive, but seeing her now… she was absolutely breathtaking. Even her left arm, still in a sling with the soft cast hiding under her sleeve, could not take away from the image of perfection he saw when he looked her over. He struggled to find the words to tell her that, for the words to convey to her just how truly beautiful he found her. Finally, one word did manage to slip out.

"…WOW…" Her face lit up, the blush that consumed her cheeks radiating brightly through the makeup she wore. A soft smile turned up the corners of her lips and she played with a lock of hair, twirling it around the index finger of her right hand.

"You look handsome…" she whispered, her blush increasing slightly. After a moment of awkward silence between the two Raven cleared her throat, seeming to regain her composure within moments. "It's getting late, and the café will close soon; let's get going." Beast Boy nodded mutely and, after a few moments of staring, snapped out of his shock and extended his arm to her. She glanced at his arm and then at him, then moved past him and headed for the door. Beast Boy's ears drooped a bit before he waved goodbye to the others and followed Raven into the night.

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The flight to Raven's restaurant of choice took only a few minutes and soon they were settled comfortably into a tiny booth towards the back of the room. It was a quant setting, exactly the kind of place that Beast Boy would expect her to frequent. The lights were dimmed down, giving off a rather calming atmosphere, and soft classical music played in the background. The booths were made of a heavy mahogany and covered with plush red cushions and each table was adorned with a burning scented candle. Deep purple paint, almost the color of Raven's hair, covered the walls and several pictures with all sorts of different themes hung throughout the restaurant.

"I come here often," Raven told him as he looked around, a menu open before her. After a moment of observing his surroundings Beast Boy picked up his own menu, his eyes drifting down to the drink selection. Immediately he noticed the lack of soft drinks and crinkled his nose a bit, looking at what options that left him with.

"It seems to be the kind of place you'd enjoy," he replied, glancing up at the waitress as she came to take their drink order. Raven ended up deciding on mint herbal tea and Beast Boy settled with strawberry lemonade.

"It's quiet; a perfect place to read, especially when it gets too loud in the tower for meditation."

"You're always meditating, Raven… why is that? I mean, I understand that you do it to keep control over your powers, but it's all you seem to do." Raven sighed a bit at his question, motioning for him to decide what he wanted to eat before they continued. Once both had chosen their meals and the waitress left them with their drinks she answer his question.

"Do you remember when you and Cyborg found my mirror and entered my mind?" At his nod she continued, "All those different versions of me are my emotions divided into physical beings. When I was born it became apparent to my mother and all my mentors on Azarath that a great evil lurks inside me. That taught me to conceal my emotions and lock them away inside myself. Separating them helps me to keep better control over them, meditation allows me to center myself and work them out, and my mirror permits me to speak to them on an intimate level."

"But why? I mean why lock them away in the first place?"

"Emotion is a dangerous thing for me; showing too much can cause Rage, the part of me that used to be my father's seed, to break free and take me over."

"So you've gone through your entire life without really feeling anything?" he gasped, eyes wide in shock. Just the thought of never being able to express his emotions made the changeling feel sad and empty; what was the point of living if you couldn't feel?

"I didn't say I've never felt anything; you of all people should know I can feel, as you've seen me cry." An embarrassed blush touched her face for a moment before she continued. "I said I'm not ALLOWED to feel. Whenever I start getting a hint of emotion, I force it into the versions of myself in my mind and then deal with it later. When that doesn't work, I meditate." Beast Boy sat back slowly as she finished, blinking rapidly before he was able to find words.

"That… sucks. Big time. But why are you telling me all this? I mean, you almost never say anything about yourself, and other than that time you were talking about your father and all that stuff I've never heard you say this much at one time."

"You like me, right? I mean, more than a teammate… that's why you asked me, right?"

"Well… yeah…"

"Then you need to know these things because you need to understand why things can never work out that way between us." The changeling looked up quickly, the hurt apparent in his eyes.

"But –"

"I'm sorry. I would be lying if I said that there is no attraction between us… but a relationship is the one thing I can't get into; it's too much of a strain when it comes to containing and controlling my emotions."

"But how do you know that! You've only ever been in two relationships!"

"And that is why I know this won't work; when Goth and I dated, I had to force myself to feel nothing for him, lest things around me explode. Malchior was… an odd exception. A few things did get destroyed, but rather than my emotions running haywire, they combined together. That's what caused my cloak and leotard to turn white."

"It was because you loved him…" Beast Boy whispered, reaching across the table to touch her hand. She tensed a bit and the picture above their booth was surrounded with black energy, exploding a moment later. They both jumped and Raven jerked away, her hand sliding into her lap under the table.

"See? I can't risk it…" she whispered, staring into her drink.

"… what makes you think that the same thing that happened with Malchior won't happen with me?" he replied.

"I can't take the risk, Beast Boy… I'm sorry…"

They sat in silence for several minutes, and when the food came it simply served as an excuse for the silence to continue. It was Beast Boy who finally broke the tension, a forkful of noodles poised close to his mouth.

"So… did you wanna just go home after this? Because, if you do…" he trailed off, lowering the food and pushing it around on his plate.

"… no. I promised you a full date, and I meant it. Whenever you wanna go after this is fine with me." A soft smile touched her lips as she glanced up at him, and he returned it weakly before going back to eating. The rest of dinner was quiet as they both made small, meaningless conversation. When they were done Beast Boy beat Raven to the bill (even though she insisted on paying) and they headed out into the cool evening air.

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Beast Boy's original plan had been a movie, but he highly doubted that "It Came From Beneath the Toilet Seat Cover" was a movie Raven would enjoy. So instead he elected for a walk along the beachfront, a perfect end to the one night where he could pretend that Raven was his. The awkward silence followed them from the restaurant and hung like a dreary rain cloud over them as they walked down the small cement path that ran along the beachfront. Beast Boy's hands were jammed deeply into the pockets of his jeans and he kept his eyes focused on the water, a sad look donning his features. Raven looked much the same, her one good arm hugged against her stomach and her gaze set on the city. The sound of music caught their attention and they both shifted their heads to look straight ahead. A small amphitheatre stood a fair ways away, down by the waterfront. Laughter and singing could be heard and Beast Boy turned to look at Raven slowly.

"Do you wanna check it out?" he questioned, extending his hand out to her slowly. She glanced at his hand and then back at the party.

"… sure," she finally replied, her hand finding his. A boyish smile lit up his features and he squeezed her hand before starting to pull her down the path. Both heard the slamming of rocks together down by the shore, but they paid it no mind; this once it was alright.

The singer was an amateur at best, but the spirits of the partiers were high and everyone seemed to be having a wonderful time. Beast Boy led Raven to a bench away from the crowd and sat down slowly, pulling her down to sit next to him. She settled back against the stone support and watched as the teens danced, singing along with the girl on stage. Raven glanced up at the sky, which was clouded over despite how warm and clear the day had been, and shivered a bit as a gust of wind picked up and left goose bumps on her skin.

"Cold?" Beast Boy asked, looking over at her? Before she could reply she felt his long-sleeved shirt drape over her shoulders and she blinked and glanced up at him. The light from the stage cast shadows across his face and she blushed (when had he become so handsome?), looking down at her feet as she tugged his shirt around her shoulders, slipping both arms into the sleeves and returning her broken one to its sling. The smell of cologne enveloped her and she closed her eyes, hugging her arms around herself to pull the silk garment closer. They watched quietly as the singer went through several fast-paced songs, her voice ringing joyously into the night. Then, suddenly, the soft sounds of a synthesized keyboard poured forth from the small karaoke machine and the teens slowed with it, moving into makeshift couples to share a mock-tender dance. Beast Boy reached down and touched Raven's hand, once again causing her to jump. Nothing exploded this time, however, and a sad smile crossed his face.

"One dance?" he whispered, lacing his fingers with hers. Her heart hammered in her chest and she nodded softly, moving gracefully to her feet and allowing him to pull her to the center of the quad. His arms shifted, wrapping loosely around her waist and pulling him against his chest. Her good arm slid up his arm and over his shoulder to drape around his neck, pressing her breasts against his chest. He had grown taller within just the last few months, hitting a late growth spurt and easily leaving her as the shortest member on the team; even with her new boots on she was still half a head shorter than he was. Raven eased her head down onto his shoulder and closed her eyes, a smile slipping across her face and making a home for itself there. She would give anything, anything in the world, to be able to indulge herself in the attraction she felt in her heart for this young man.

"… Raven…" She felt his breath against her ear, a warm whisper that made a shudder run down her spine. Her head lifted lazily and she looked up at him, finding herself lost in the deep green pools that were his eyes. One of the strong hands that was supporting her at the back slid up her spine and entangled itself in the hair at the base of her skull before swinging around her cup her cheek. His thumb ran over her bottom lip as a sad smile formed on his face.

"I can't find the words to tell you just how beautiful you look tonight. You've always been beautiful, at least to me, but right now… you glow, Raven," he whispered. She had lost count of how many times that evening a blush had touched her face, but she was almost positive that this one was the brightest of them all. A smile broke out across her lips, the first real smile Beast Boy had ever seen her give, and in that moment he knew he had to kiss her; if this was to be their only embrace, then so be it. His hand moved once again, this time to gently hold her chin, and he bent his head down to connect his mouth with hers. Raven's eyes widened for a moment and her lips parted subconsciously before her lids slid shut and she leaned in to receive him. Their mouths had just barely made contact when she suddenly dropped her head, her arm starting to slide down his chest and her body moved away.

"…I can't… I'm sorry…" she whispered, her voice sounding as though she were restraining tears. Beast Boy smiled sadly and pulled her chin up until they were eye-to-eye once more.

"One kiss; just one. If anything blows up, anything at all… I swear I'll never touch you again." His voice was calm but she could hear the desperation lying beneath the surface. He truly was betting everything on this one kiss.

"… okay… one kiss…" she agreed, her hand now resting on his chest. Beast Boy leaned in again and she closed her eyes, waiting to feel the brush of his lips against her own. It felt like forever before finally they connected, his lips soft and warm as first he kissed her upper lip, then her lower lip, and then molded their mouths together in a tender embrace. The goose bumps she had experienced only minutes before were nothing in comparison to the feelings now coursing through her veins, causing a rush of pleasure to grip her sanity and an onslaught of emotions to flood her senses. Her arm returned to its spot around his neck and her hand moved to tangle in his hair, pulling him closer. Almost simultaneously his arm, holding her around the waist, tightened and closed the last of the space between their bodies.

_/And she will be loved/_

Lightening flashed across the horizon and a crash of thunder followed moments later as the sky opened up to shed its tears upon the earth. The teens that had been singing and dancing had stopped to watch the two titans share their embrace, oblivious to the streetlamps and other objects around them that had started randomly exploding. As the rain began they gathered up their things quickly and rushed for their cars, parked up the street. Raven and Beast Boy took no notice of them, nor of the rain, nor of anything but the moment they shared; time had, in essence, stopped for them. Beast Boy's hand had long ago pushed itself up into her hair and he now played with it softly, running his fingers through the dark strands even as the downpour left it soaking wet and heavy around her face. His lips parted and his tongue probed at her mouth, willing her to permit him access. She did so gladly, a low moan escaping the deepest regions of her throat as their tongues met and dueled for dominance. As the playing continued in their mouths they shifted position, their hands starting to shyly explore the different curves of each other's bodies. Raven's hand ran across Beast Boy's chest, feeling the muscles that had formed their over the years, before it moved down his side and then swooped around to run up his back. Meanwhile his hand had already traveled the course of her back and now trailed across her shoulder blades, down the upper part of her arm, and along the smooth curve of her side. She shivered against his lips, pressing her mouth against his hungrily. Only the need for oxygen caused them to separate and they did so slowly, gasping and clutching onto each other in sudden, irrational fear that one of them would disappear.

"Did… did anything blow up?" Beast Boy finally questioned, idly stroking her hair down. Raven glanced around at the shattered streetlamps, unearthed trees, and other debris that now littered the area around them.

"… you could say that…" she replied, her arm instinctively tightening around him.

"… oh… I'm sorry…" He moved as though he were going to release her and she pulled him even closer, resting her head against his shoulder.

"It's okay…" she whispered, burying her face in the nape of his neck.

"But what about your emotions?" he inquired, looking down at her.

"… we'll work around it…" she muttered. He smiled and nodded before brushing his lips against her forehead. They stood in silence for several minutes, holding each other and enjoying the cool summer rain as it soaked their clothing and cleansed their souls. Beast Boy finally took a hold of her shoulders and gently pushed her back so he could examine her face.

"Let's go home; neither one of us can really afford to get a cold, and I'm not sure if you're supposed to get your soft cast wet." Raven nodded and reluctantly moved away from him completely, her right hand capturing his left one. She then closed her eyes, whispered a few words, and they disappeared in a brilliant flash of dark energy.

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The tower was dark and silent when they appeared in the living room, both still sopping wet and shivering from the cold. Raven considered preparing herself a cup of tea before heading to bed but decided against it; better to get out of her wet clothing and into bed, meditate to regain control over her emotions, and fall asleep with thoughts of this evening still fresh in her head.

"It's late; the others must have decided to go to bed rather than wait up for us. It's best we do the same." Beast Boy's voice pulled her from her quiet musings and she nodded, allowing him to lead her up the stairs to the bedrooms. For the first time that night the quiet that existed between them was a comfortable one as they weaved their way through the halls, passing over Beast Boy's room in favor of stopping outside Raven's door. Some of the shy awkwardness of earlier returned and Beast Boy took her shoulders gently, leaning down to brush his lips against her cheek.

"Goodnight, Raven," he whispered, releasing her and turning to go. She watched him walk away, her hand hovering over the area of her cheek he had kissed, before she remembered that she was still wearing his shirt.

"Beast Boy, wait!" He turned to look at her as she returned to his side, her uninjured arm already out of the sleeve of his shirt and attempting to assist the broken one with the same task. He bit down on his lip to keep from laughing and helped her remove the garment before holding it out to her.

"You keep it; it looks better on you anyway," he told her, smiling at the look of hesitation that passed over her face before she took it. He turned to go once more and her voice stopped him again, this time as a soft whisper that his ears barely picked up on.

"… Garfield…" He turned to look at her again, his eyes meeting hers, and gave her a smile.

"Yeah?" She didn't respond with words, instead moving to his side and standing on the tips of her toes to brush her lips against his. She pulled back a moment later and smiled.

"Goodnight, Garfield." Before he could respond she had vanished into the sanctity of her room, the door sliding shut behind her. He stared at the spot she had occupied moments before in silence, his lips curving up in a smile of their own. Slowly he pivoted on his heel, turning away from her room, and began the walk back to his own chamber.

_/She will be loved/_

For the first time since Terra's betrayal, Beast Boy slept through the night.

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_That had been the first date of many. She had slowly but surely healed the pain in his heart that Terra had left there while he in turn carefully nursed the still-fresh wounds that Malchior had inflicted upon her. _

_Speaking of Malchior…_

_The image of Raven curled up in Cyborg's car flashed through his mind and he winced a bit as the memory came flooding back. Malchior had hurt her far worse than any of the others could ever hope to know…_

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If not for his freakishly-huge ears, the changeling would have never located Raven's carefully selected hiding spot. It was the most isolated area of the tower, where she knew no one would bother checking. Indeed she was right, as it was late in the afternoon, pushing into evening, and this was the time when the boys played video games, Starfire concocted odd Tamaranian dishes in the kitchen with Earth foods as substitute ingredients, and Raven hid in her room to meditate (though on rare occasion she could be found curled up on the couch with her nose buried in a book). Given the fact that the main room was on the top floor of the tower and the garage was hidden underground, it was amazing even to Beast Boy that that he managed to pick up on the sound of music playing; while he had been gifted with the ability to change into any animal that he wished, the annoying quirk of being able to hear a mouse fart three stories down, and his devilishly good looks and charm, even his senses could only stretch themselves so far.

He had heard the first notes of the song while taking a much-needed bathroom break, Robin having finally beaten him on his sixteenth round of "Super Ninja Monkeys 5". It was a lower note, as the human ear can pick up on sounds in the lower spectrum easier than it can those in the high spectrum. He halted in his tracks, straining his ears for a repeat of the disruption. After a good ten seconds he brushed it off as part of the video game still being played in the other room and continued to the bathroom, his eyes wandering to Raven's door along the way. It had been almost a month since the incident with Malchior and he had noticed an increasingly reclusive behavior in his fellow teammate. It was getting harder and harder to convince her to join them for pizza, or a movie, or even training. Raven seemed to only emerge from her room long enough to retrieve tea or to tend to anything titan-related; other than that her door stayed closed and she remained securely hidden behind it. He considered making the journey to her room and knocking on her door, an action that had become habit for him in the last month, but was well aware of what her reaction would be. She wouldn't even bother with opening the door, instead demanding her privacy through the cold steel barrier that separated her from the world. He would beg, plead, and attempt to coax, finally giving up several minutes after all sound would cease to exist from her end of the conversation. The rest of the day would be spent with her on his mind, invading his every thought and filling his head with concern.

Today Beast Boy elected to skip his ritual and instead slipped into the bathroom, emerging a few minutes later with clean hand and a much-relieved bladder. A quick shift into cat form helped to stretch out his stiffened muscles and he set to preening himself, another odd habit he seemed to possess. It was at this point that he heard the music again, a string of low notes followed by high notes too faint to be heard by the average human ear. His ears perked up and he cooed softly, straining to discover the source of the tune. It obviously wasn't on this floor of the tower, as he would have heard it easily over the sound of the video game. Given that his already-sharp hearing was now intensified by this new form he had taken on, it was easy to determine that the noise was coming from several stories down, quite possibly even in the garage. He couldn't make out the band, but judging on the beat alone it almost had to be one of Raven's CDs.

… Raven? What would she be doing down in the garage? While she could often be found assisting Cyborg with the T-car, she never ventured down there otherwise. The fact that she had sought refuge down there, isolated from the rest of the tower in a place where she would be neither heard nor looked for, set off alarms in his head. While she had been extremely solitary as of late, he was almost certain that thoughts of suicide had come into play as well. Call it a hunch, call it intuition, but he knew they were there. With a single alteration of his DNA structure he became a mouse and scuttled over to the ventilation system, squeezing between the grate and the wall with ease and making his way swiftly down the metal piping towards the garage. Now that he was in a closed-in space he could hear the music, clear as a bell as it echoed off the walls of the piping around him. It continued to grow louder the deeper he journeyed and was damn well near to deafening by the time he actually emerged into the garage. He finally recognized the band as being Evanescence, though he could not place the song itself. He morphed back into human form as he dropped from the vent, landing smoothly on his feet. The music was so loud that it was shaking the windows of Cyborg's car and Beast Boy was honestly surprised that they hadn't shattered. Immediately he started looking around the area, attempting to locate his missing teammate. After searching nearly every place he thought she could be, he finally came to the only conclusion that fit; she had to be inside the car itself. This created a major problem, as there was no possible way she was going to hear him pounding on the door with the music as loud as it was. Simply opening the door without giving her sufficient warning would both startle her and be a major invasion of her privacy, an act that would cause her to become shut-off and hostile.

_/I know where you hide, alone in your car/_

Of course, there was always the option of going upstairs, plopping down next to Robin on the couch, and forgetting that the whole messy ordeal had ever come up in the first place. After all, Raven was hiding for a reason, and Beast Boy was more than one-hundred percent sure she did not wish to be discovered.

… and yet…

Beast Boy took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. He walked over to the car and cupped his hands over his eyes, peering in through the tinted windows to confirm Raven's occupancy of the vehicle. He barely made out the tiny figure curled up in the front passenger's seat, hiding within the safe folds of dark cloak. Slowly he raised a hand and tapped on the glass, knowing full well she would never hear him over her music but giving it an attempt anyway. Tapping gave way to knocking and knocking to full-out pounding, yet still she remained unresponsive. Beast Boy bit his lip and stepped back a bit, her music still screaming from Cyborg's speakers. The songs had changed twice since he had first started trying to attract her attention and even in the transition's silence she had not heard him.

Going upstairs was starting to sound REALLY nice.

In the end, he knew that was not an option; whether Raven wanted companionship or not, he was involved now and would not be leaving until he made it clear to her that she had options beyond grieving alone. He was now quite aware of the fact that he could pound on the car door and scream her name until his energy was spent and his voice was raw and still she would not notice him. Like it or not, unless he was willing to sit and wait for her to emerge on her own, he was going to have to break into her privacy and pray that she wouldn't destroy him on site. Beast Boy stood back for a moment, waiting for a break in her music – he wanted to gain her attention, not give her a heart attack. His hand sat poised on the driver's side door handle, fingers curled slightly in anticipation. The thought of what to do in the event that the door was locked had yet to cross his mind, and as it made an attempt to he pushed it away. That was a bridge that would be traveled if it was come to. The song ended with a final angry beat and he sucked in a deep breath of air before pulling up on the handle. It gave easily in his hand and he bent his elbow, easing the door out on its hinges and revealing Raven to the world.

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"With strawberry gashes all over, all over me…" Raven's lips moved noiselessly with the singer as her right hand shifted, the dagger slicing through the thin mesh of three layers of skin and laying open another wound on her arm, adding to the dozen or so that already made their home on her pale flesh. The world around her had dropped away and the only thing that existed now was her, the blade, and the music. As the mixed CD transitioned into an Evanescence song she watched the blood slide down her arm, dripping onto her cape and leaving yet another dark stain. She had been careful to situate the item so that the seat of Cyborg's car stayed clean, eliminating all chance of any evidence. She raised the blade again, preparing to cause another mutilation, and had just pressed down into her skin when the voice sounded over her music.

"RAVEN!" The empath gasped and turned her head quickly, pressing the blade down much harder than intended as she brought it along her arm. The gash ran from inner elbow to mid-arm and blood exploded from the incision, most of it managing to hit her cloak but some of it dripping onto the seat. The CD player was surrounded in black energy for a split-second before shattering like glass, debris flying everywhere. In the sudden silence the two stared at each other, Beast Boy's expression dominated by shock while Raven's was one of a child who was just caught with their hand in the cookie jar.

"… Raven…"

"GET OUT!" Beast Boy remained frozen to his spot, his eyes drifting down to her crimson-coated arm. He moved into the car and she shied away, clutching her arm against her chest and pushing her back against the door behind her. The driver side door slid shut behind the changeling with a "click", locking them both in Raven's world. Several moments passed before he finally reached for her, seeming unfazed as she pressed herself into the corner of the seat, eyes narrowed and jaw clenched tightly. It was hard to read her true emotions with her hood up, as her eyes could often give off a false emotion to hide her true feelings.

"Raven, let me see…"

"GET OUT!"

"You're bleeding pretty badly, Raven… let me see it," he whispered, all tones of his usual joking manner gone.

"I SAID GET OUT!" she screamed, though her voice did not hold the same ferocity it had when she had first demanded he leave her in peace. Desperation had crept its way into her tone, despite her best attempts to stop it, and she desired nothing more than for him to leave her be.

"… please don't make me go get Robin… let me see it."

She was caught; in that moment, she knew that there was no choice but to give in to his concern. Raven withdrew her arm from its shelter against her chest and held it out for him to see, her gaze suddenly finding her lap to be the most interesting thing on the planet. With the most gentle of touches Beast Boy took her wrist in one hand and her elbow in the other, bending her arm slightly so he could view her wound from all angles. Raven waited in silence for his reprimand, for him to scold her or yell at her or at least tell her that she was a bloody idiot for doing such a stupid thing to herself.

"Let's get you cleaned up." And that was that. He helped her out of the car without a word and led her to the large sink in the back of the room, where he ran warm tap water and gently cleaned her off with soap and a washcloth. The bleeding had all but stopped, revealing that the cut had not been too horribly deep, and Beast Boy took the greatest care in drying it off before he went to retrieve the first-aid kit. Raven stared down at her arm in silence, at the angry red cuts that contrasted her porcelain-white skin. When had she become so weak? She used to scoff at those who committed such pointless acts against themselves, especially over a thing so pathetic as love.

… but Malchior…

Raven banished that thought before it could complete itself and reached up to brush a few strands of hair back under her hood, sighing softly. Beast Boy returned a moment later and dabbed iodine all over her arm, making sure to get each cut, before he lay a few sterile gauze pads over the wounds and then wrapped a white bandage over his work. When he was done he taped it off and pulled her sleeve down, sitting back and staring at her in silence. When it became apparent that she wasn't going to say anything he initiated the conversation instead, sighing a bit as he placed his hands in his lap.

"Why did you do it?" he questioned, watching her shoulders tense beneath her cloak. He waiting for her response, knowing at this point it would not be best to force anything out of her.

"… are you going to tell the others?" she finally whispered, her voice void of all emotion.

"… no." She glanced up at him slowly, disbelief reflecting in her violet orbs. "You're not a child, you don't need us monitoring you," he continued, giving her a soft smile, "I trust you won't be doing this again." She nodded her agreement and licked her lips, glancing back at her arm. "Could you take your hood off? There's no need to hide from me, and it makes me feel like I'm talking to you rather than a shadow…" Beast Boy ventured after a few more moments of silence. Raven was surprised with how easily she complied, pushing the hood down to reveal her face. Her hair was disheveled and lay in a tangled mess around her face, her cheeks sunken in from days without sleep. Beast Boy looked her over quickly before he spoke again. "You didn't answer my question; why did you do it?"

"… I'm not entirely sure. I guess… I'm just depressed…" Her answer had been preceded by several seconds of tense silence and she nervously wrung her hands in her lap.

"Then come to one of us before it reaches this extent; cutting yourself is dangerous, Raven…"

"…I know… I just… I didn't feel like I had the right to come to you guys…" She didn't have to look up at him to see the hurt that made its home on his face.

"Raven, that's ridiculous! You're our friend; if you ever need us, for ANY reason, we are always here for you!"

"You don't understand… I put all of you in harm's way. My selfish and reckless decision could have gotten all of us killed…"

"But it DIDN'T, Raven. You made a mistake, so what? It happens to all of us."

"Not to me…" He regarded her for several moments, watching as she fidgeted in her seat and refused to raise her head to look him straight in the eye. It was odd to see her this way, to witness the side of her she never let out; this nervous, edgy girl who sat before him seemed a stranger in comparison to the Raven he had come to know.

"To everyone," he replied, "they happen to all of us."

"I really messed up, Beast Boy… I shut out my friends, I opened my trust to someone without fully assessing the situation… we all make mistakes, granted, but I really, REALLY pushed it…"

"You were in love."

"That doesn't justify the situation, and you know it." Another moment of awkward quiet passed and Raven sighed, the noise shaky with restrained tears. "Maybe… maybe I don't deserve to be loved…" she muttered, the sentence barely louder than a puff of air.

"That's not true and you know it…"

"… with a father like mine, with a past like mine…"

"Raven, stop…"

"It's true, Beast Boy. I knew the consequences of my actions, I KNEW that falling in love was something forbidden to me; I'm reaping what I sew." Her voice was trembling with each word, composure rapidly slipping from her grasp. It was obvious that sleep and meditation had been almost impossible since the incident, leaving her ashen face and curled-up posture to display to the world the full stress this experience had placed on her emotions. She looked moments away from breaking down, eyes darting back and forth wildly as if following the movements of something seen only by her. "Demon child… worth nothing…"

"Raven, stop it!"

"How could you ever hope to understand!" she screamed, her head snapping up suddenly, "you have NO CLUE what it's like! You **CAN'T KNOW** how it feels to know your mother never held you as a child because the evil inside you would kill her! How it feels to be looked down upon by your elders and isolated by your peers because of something you couldn't change! That everywhere you go, you hear 'demon' or 'impure' or 'evil' and KNOW it's directed at you!" She was shaking, her muscles tense and rigid and her voice high with the start of hysteria as tears danced behind her eyes. Beast Boy knew he had to calm her down, had to get her to talk rationally, or the backlash of her emotions could very well destroy everything in the car port.

"Listen to me, Raven…" he soothed, reaching out to her slowly, "I know your past has been hard, but we're all here for you now, and we know you're a good person. You deserve love, you do, and we all love you. What happened with Malchior… it happens, but it doesn't mean you don't have the right to be loved."

"How would you know! How would you know anything about it, Beast Boy!"

Beast Boy was well aware of her current mental state, but it didn't make her words hurt any less, or the anger that welled up in his chest any easier to control.

"Maybe because I've BEEN there, Raven! Do you remember Terra! Do you think this is ANY different! I know it hurts, it hurts a lot, but it GETS BETTER! In time it does get better… but only if you GRIEVE!" At his words she froze and stood staring at him silence. For several moments he thought it was going to be alright now, that his words had broken through to her and had halted the panic that had started to take over her exhausted, damaged psyche.

"… grieve?" she finally whispered, her voice high and disbelieving, "what in the Hell makes you think I have the right to GRIEVE! If I can't be loved, why would I have the right to feel pain!"

His words had done the exact opposite of what he had hoped they would; rather than calming Raven's building hysteria, it had been the final push to send her over the edge. Things started lifting off the ground slowly, surrounded in black energy, as her eyes burned with white fire and her hair whipped around her face, propelled into motion by wind unfelt by the changeling. He took a step back as she just started screaming, her words undistinguishable and lacking any form of point. Then she shifted into her native tongue and the objects her powers had captured started to spin around them, picking up dust as they went and leaving them standing in the center of a tornado. Her hands were clenched into tight fists at her sides and her entire body shook with the force of her tantrum as it tore the room to pieces. Beast Boy could only stare at her as all her pent up anger and pain finally found an outlet and took full advantage of it. Just as suddenly as the fit had come it passed and she collapsed to her knees, the debris flying around them falling to the floor and bringing with it the return of the haunting silence. He remained motionless for an unknown amount of time before he dared to move towards the figure hunched down on her knees, her hands pressed against the floor and her shoulders shaking. His hand found her shoulder as he brushed some of the hair out of her face, tucking it back behind her ear.

_/Know all of the things that make you who you are/_

"… Raven?"

"… I was never meant to be born… my entire existence is a flaw… no matter how hard I try, I hurt everyone around me… my mother, my friends… I don't want to be alive anymore…" Her tone was weak and broken, a complete contrast to the hysterically panicked screaming that had shuddered the walls of the room only minutes before.

"Raven, you're tired… you need to sleep…" he murmured, taking a gentle hold on her arms and attempting to help her to her feet. She remained dead weight against his pull, her head bent and her body limp as a rag doll against his side.

"I don't want to be a curse anymore, Beast Boy… I don't want to be a curse or a mistake…"

"You're not –"

"YES I AM! I DON'T WANT TO BE A MISTAKE ANYMORE!" Raven's hands flew up to her face and she pressed her palms against her eyes, hunching in on herself as her body began to tremble with the first of deep, violent sobs that lacked all noise. Tears poured down her cheeks and dripped off her chin, leaving damp spots upon the light coating of dust on the floor. Beast Boy sat in shocked immobility for what felt like forever, staring at her as she finally allowed the anguish that gripped her heart to flush itself from her system. He finally found the strength to move, reaching out and gathering her into his arms, her almost-weightless frame settling into his lap. She curled into his body willingly and pressed her face against the soft fabric of his shirt, her arms curling around her chest to sandwich between their bodies. He slid his hand under her cloak and rubbed wide, arching circles along her back, feeling her shoulder bones jut out roughly and a thick sheen of sweat clinging to her leotard. Her body temperature had heated up and she felt feverish in his embrace as he rocked her back and forth, one hand occupying her back and the other smoothing out the tangled mess that was her hair.

"Shh… you're okay… just let it come, Raven…" Beast Boy soothed. Raven wept without even an attempt at restraint, making no noise outside of the choking gasps that racked her frame as the violent tremors running through her made up for her silence. He could do nothing more than hold her as tightly as he could and whisper in her ear, words that he was sure made no real sense but soothed her fragile mind back into some form of exhausted sanity. There seemed to be no end to her tears and Beast Boy realized that this release went much further back then just the recent events with Malchior. Suddenly every last stress, every last pain, every last screaming agony was coming out in this flooding torrent of silent sobs that would fade out for precious moments before returning with new waves of misery. And so he let her cry, let her suffer, let her mourn for a childhood that never existed and a normal life that was robbed from her by circumstances beyond her control.

It was hours later when the sobs ran out for the last time and she lay slumped against him, her face still hidden in the safety of his shoulder. Beast Boy couldn't tell if she had fallen asleep or was simply too exhausted to move; either way she appeared comfortable and he intended for it to stay that way. When finally her breathing dropped into a shallow, steady rhythm he took her for being asleep and dared to change his form, morphing into a large gorilla so he could carry her easily up the two flights of stairs leading to the elevator. Raven lay still in his arms, her hair falling sloppily in her face and giving her an innocent, child-like look. Her expression reflected only peace, an escape from the unfair circumstances of her tortured existence and into a universe where she could be free of burden.

Getting her to her room proved to be a flawless task; the others had long before vanished to their rooms and the tower lay dark and silent. Beast Boy made his way out of the elevator and across the living room, cluttered with take-out boxes from dinner, abandoned game station controllers, and other random items. Up the stairs, through the sliding door and down the hallway he went, Raven remaining asleep in his strong grip. She had burrowed herself into the nook created by his arm folded against his side and seemed quite comfortable, her head tipped back slightly to rest against his arm. He resumed normal form only after he had pulled the covers to her bed back and eased her under, her body rolling fluidly onto its side when he release her. Quickly he stripped off her shoes, socks, belt and cloak, setting them all aside for her to her find when she awoke before he tucked the blankets around her body. Raven burrowed herself into the pillow and reached a hand out to grasp a corner of the top blanket, pulling it against her chest as her breathing became deep and she passed into REM stage.

_/I know that goodbye means nothing at all/_

_/Comes back and makes me catch her every time she falls/_

Beast Boy hoped that she was having only the most pleasant of dreams.

He could have been content to watch her sleep all night, to lie next to her and stroke her beautiful hair down and keep her safe from anything that might wish to harm her. He contented himself with a single kiss instead, playing his lips briefly across the jewel on her forehead before he turned to go.

"Sleep well, Raven."

5-5-5-5-5-5-5-5-5-5-5-5-5-5-5-5-5-5-5-5-5-5-5-5-5-5-5-5-5-5-5-5-5-5-5-5-5-5-5-5-5-5

_They had never spoken of that night, not even after they started dating; she had woken up the next morning and joined them for breakfast for the first time in almost a month, and as far as Beast Boy knew she never cut herself again. But he knew she was thankful for it, not only for his support but also for his silence, because the smile she gave him, small as it was and given when no one else was looking, was not quite so broken. _

_The song transitioned into the last minute and he allowed his eyes to slide shut, tipping his head back as the final memory, his favorite memory, washed over him like a wave that carried him into the sea of his past. _

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Beast Boy was almost asleep when the soft tap on his door reached his ears. He set up groggily, blinking and scratching the back of his head sleepily, before climbing out of bed and traveling across the room. The door slid open to reveal Raven, clad in a pair of black pajama bottoms and one of his shirts. She had sustained a serious injury in one of their recent battles and had thusly been put on bed rest. The doctors had checked her over earlier that day and she was fit to return to fighting within the week. Given that she had been holed up in her room for the better part of the month she had elected to wear something a bit more comfortable then her usual daily attire.

"Hey, Rae… what are you doing out of bed? You're supposed to still be resting…" he chastised, reaching out to brush his hand over her cheek.

"I know, but…" she paused, then shook her head and turned to go, " you're right, I'm sorry. I'll see you tomorrow morning." His hand on her shoulder stopped her and she turned to glance at him.

_/Tap on my window, knock on my door/_

"Raven… were you lonely?" A smile danced at the corners of his mouth and her cheeks flushed with embarrassment in response.

"… maybe a little…" she confessed grudgingly. It had been almost three years since the torturing nightmares, since Beast Boy had come to her door and spent the night protecting her from herself. That was the first night they spent together, even if it was the result of worry and fear. In the 32 months that had followed since they had grown into something far more than friends. It was natural now (and had been for some time) to find the pair in the same bed when the sun rose each morning. Only in the last few weeks had they slept apart, another result of Raven's recent injury.

"I'm not sure I'm allowed to sleep with you yet…" he admitted, a tinge of sadness in his tone.

"Then just come lay with me until I fall asleep… please?" It was rare that Raven would so openly ask for affection, but three weeks of being alone had definitely reminded her of just how nice it was to sleep with another body in bed.

"Of course…" he replied immediately, joining her in the hallway. They stared at each other for a long moment, a shy sort of silence that always seemed to arise between them causing them both to blush, and then they turned and headed for Raven's room. At some point during the short journey Beast Boy's hand had moved up and around her shoulders, pulling her close. She leaned against him now, her eyes half-closed sleepily and her hand resting on the small of his back. Her door opened as they stepped up and they entered slowly, passing the lightswitch without bothering to turn it on. The sheets were already pulled back and it was obvious that Raven had been tossing and turning for quite some time by the wrinkles in the bottom sheet and the position of the comforter.

"Why didn't you come get me sooner?" he questioned softly as she eased herself onto the left side of the bed, shyly beckoning for him to join her.

"I… didn't want to bother you…" she admitted, sliding down onto her back and pulling the blankets over herself as he joined her. Immediately Beast Boy moved his arms out to pull her close, wrapping one arm around her shoulders and sandwiching the other between her side and the bed.

"You don't ever have to worry about 'bothering' me, Raven; I'm happy to be here if you need me. I want to be here for you," he soothed, stroking her back at the base of her spine. Raven shuddered in pleasure at the shivers his touch sent up her back and moved closer, pressing her forehead against his collarbone as one arm draped itself over his waist and the other made a home for itself between their bodies. Beast Boy was truly shocked at this sudden show of affection; while Raven did have her moments where she chose to display her feelings for him in a more physical manner, overall she was still a physically and emotionally reclusive person and saved her loving moments for times few and far between. The others had often brought this point up to Beast Boy and questioned him incessantly as to his feelings in the matter, to which he would simply smile and state that he was quite aware of Raven's love for him, even if she was unable to express it in the way most would. He felt her shift in his arms, apparently still a bit uncomfortable, and as she rolled onto her other side to face away from him his hand accidentally brushed against the line of stitches on her stomach. A shudder ran through his body and he shifted his hold on her, wrapping his arm around her ribcage and settling his hand above her heart. Beast Boy pulled Raven as close as he could, pressing his collarbone against her bony shoulder blades.

"… does it still hurt?" he whispered, kissing the top of her head tenderly. She brought her hands up to match his, her left on the one over her heart and her right gripping the arm that held her securely around her shoulders.

"Not anymore, but it did the first week…" she replied.

"I was really afraid, Raven… you lost so much blood and you were barely conscious on the way to the hospital… we were so scared that we were going to lose you…"

"… I was scared too…" she admitted, her voice soft. She rolled over again in his arms, bringing them face-to-face once more, and leaned up to gently kiss his lower lip. He shifted his head and brought their mouths together fully, his tongue sliding hungrily passed her parted lips. They had gone on their first date almost three years ago, a night that had been somehow both awkward and exceedingly comfortable. Since then their relationship had only grown, passing through periods of extreme highs and crushing lows. They had weathered it all together and had grown together as a result. The only thing that had not moved forward, which was odd considering the amount of time they had been together, was intimacy; they had made out plenty of times, and Beast Boy would be speaking from experience if he ever commented that Raven had an extremely nice pair of breasts, but it had never progressed any further than that. As a result they had both been suffering the effects of sexual tension, especially within the last few months. Their mouths separated at the same time and he pressed his forehead against hers, his free hand stroking up and down her side softly.

"I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't made it…" he murmured, smiling as she leaned in and dropped a kiss on the bridge of his nose.

"Don't think about it; the past is the past, and we are best to leave it as such." A simple nod was the only reply Beast Boy gave as he pulled Raven tight against himself, molding their bodies together like the pieces of a child's jigsaw puzzle. Idly his hand slid up her back, entangling in her hair and stroking the back of her neck. She exhaled softly against the nape of his neck, gracing the soft skin there with a feather-light kiss.

"I love you, Raven…" he breathed against her hair, burying his face against the purple tresses and inhaling the fragrance of her shampoo. Her arms tightened around his waist and he felt her hands clutch the soft fabric of his shirt in her fists.

"… I love you too…" she whispered, so soft she almost feared that he didn't hear her, "I love you, oh Azar I love you so much…"

After waiting so long to hear those three simple words that could either make or break his heart, Beast Boy was in a state of shock. He could only hold her as tightly as was possible and close his eyes in an attempt to convince himself that this wasn't some cruel dream from which he would soon wake. Raven had only ever said those words to him once before, a month ago while in the hospital. The monster's attack had been too swift for her to dodge and it had laid her stomach open with razor-sharp claws, leaving her on the ground bleeding from three gashes that ran from breast to hip. Her screams of agony had driven him to the brink of insanity and he had retaliated before the beast could hurt anyone else, leaving it unconscious and barely alive before moving to Raven's side to hold her until the ambulance could arrive. Once at the emergency room they had stitched her up and checked her vital organs before pumping her full of painkillers and leaving her to sleep. She had been delusional with the last of the pain and out of her conscious mind due to the drugs when he went in to see her, uttering those precious words as she started the downward spiral into a blessed unconsciousness. Hearing it now, it was different; she wasn't drugged and in pain or forced with a realization that she might be leaving him within just a few minutes' time.

"…I've waited so long to hear those words… three years…" Beast Boy finally managed to choke, his voice thick with emotion. Their bodies separated as he pulled back to look at her face, reaching up to run a hand over the contours of her cheek and jawbone. Raven smiled at him in the dark as he leaned forward to possess her lips, her hands sliding up to explore the vast expansion of his chest through his shirt. The embrace deepened and Raven moaned softly, the noise vibrating through her mouth and tickling Beast Boy's tongue. Of their own volition his hands slid down her back and slipped beneath her shirt, retracing their path up her spinal column, halting at her ribcage and creeping forward to squeeze the flesh below her breasts. Raven's breathing hitched a bit and then became faster as a sheen of sweat began to appear on her skin. They were both quite aware of Beast Boy's erection pressing almost painfully into the empath's thigh and she shifted her leg a bit, rubbing it against the tip of his penis and causing the changeling to grunt in pleasure. They broke their kiss and he leaned forward to nip at the lobe of her ear, trailing his lips down her neck.

"Let me show you just how beautiful you are to me, Raven… please…" he breathed, feeling her body shudder in reply. There was no hesitation as she nodded and pulled him into another embrace, their tongues returning to their previous duel for dominance. Beast Boy made quick work of Raven's shirt, stripping it from her body and pitching it to its new home on her floor. His lips quickly forged a trail down the smooth plain of her throat while his teeth nibbled at his claim, feeling her blood pulsing heavily through her veins and her chest heaving against his own in anticipation. Nimble hands explored the expansion of her back, feeling the slight rise of the tattoo that ran from one hip to the other at the crest where her spine met her tailbone. His fingers grazed along the crest of her butt and she moaned into his shoulder as her own hands set to their task of removing his shirt. Beast Boy's kisses progressed lower and his tongue slid down the crest of her chest and between her breasts, sending through her body tremors of delight. Her back arched and her hips bucked forward to grind their pelvises together, causing them both to groan erotically. Raven fumbled a bit longer with his shirt and finally managed to remove it, tossing it to the floor to join its friend and leaving them both topless. She locked her fingers in his hair as he kissed lower, running his lips carefully over the three scars on her abdomen and glancing up at her.

"Beautiful…" he breathed, smiling as she blushed. A gentle tug on his hair was her signal that her breasts would like a bit of attention and he laughed softly before sitting back on his legs and pulling her into his lap. The moonlight entering from her window cast shadows across her face and he stroked her face softly before moving to hold her against him with his left arm while his right hand gently fondled her breast. Raven's head tipped back and she closed her eyes, a weak moan building in her throat and escaping into the night air. Beast Boy moved forward and engulfed her free nipple with his mouth, flicking his tongue over the rock-hard nub and nibbling softly with his teeth. She squeaked loudly and moved her hands into his hair, her fingertips massaging his scalp and her fingers clenching his silky tresses in shaking fists each time a wave of pleasure washed over her. His hand moved away from the breast it was occupying and slid down her stomach, pushing the elastic band of her pajama bottoms aside and moving to cup the heat of her crotch through her panties. Raven's eyes clenched shut and she leaned down to kiss him, running her tongue desperately over his lips.

"Garfield…"

He responded to her plea with immediate urgency, shifting the crotch of her panties aside and running his fingers against the wetness he found. She convulsed in his embrace and placed her hand over his, guiding two of his fingers into her tight core with a deep moan of bliss. A bright blush lit up his featured and he looked up at her, returning the smile she gave him. Clumsily he moved the two digits in and out of her body, increasing his speed as she rode swiftly against his hand and whimpered into his hair. As her body started to shudder and he felt her building he removed his fingers quickly, hearing her groan with disappointment, and began to remove her pants and panties. Raven assisted him with shaking hands, lying back on the bed to slide the garments off her hips, down her knees and off her legs. He sat back to examine the threshold of her naked body in the dim lighting and she blushed, suddenly feeling modest before his gaze. The dim illumination dulled the usually-sharp definitions of her body, somehow only adding to her beauty rather than taking away from it, and he felt the fire within his loins spread through his veins to ignite every nerve with desire. Beast Boy began to remove his pants and Raven leant her immediate assistance, soon leaving them both naked and panting on the bed. His hand reached out to trail down her side, stopping to draw lazy circles on the area above her pelvis. Desire screamed at him to take all of her; to dip his tongue in the nectar of her soul and see if she really did taste like honey, lavender and sweat, just as she smelled, but the burning in his crotch and the remembrance of her wounds, mostly healed but still stitched, convinced him to wait for another day.

"Before we do this…" he whispered, finding himself already short on breath, "I just want to make sure you're comfortable with it." Raven smiled up at him in reply and took his hand, running her thumb across his knuckles.

"I love you… I want to do this with you, Garfield…" she replied, sitting up on her knees and kissing his forehead softly, "so please… please make me feel beautiful…"

Words lost place in the night as he nodded and placed his hands on her thighs, gently spreading them apart, before he placed his hands on her hips and lowered her carefully onto his erection. Sliding into her was relatively easy, as her pre-cum made an almost perfect lubricant, and he paused as he hit the wall of her hymen. He looked up into her eyes, waiting for an indication to proceed. Raven nodded softly and gripped his shoulders, dipping her head down to rest against his chest as he thrust the rest of the way into her, breaking the thin barrier and claiming her virginity. She cried out in pain against him and squeezed her eyes shut tightly to stop the tears from falling, digging her fingernails into his flesh. Beast Boy stroked his hands gently over her hips and thighs, rubbing small circles in an attempt to soothe away her discomfort. After a few minutes her body relaxed against his and she gently ground her hips against his, sending sharp bolts of elation through both their bodies. His hands returned to her hips and he thrust up and into her, starting slow and building as they synced their motions and their awkward, off-beat dance became a waltz. Raven's soft cries of earlier had given way to screams of ecstasy that could easily wake the dead and her hands dug into his back, her fingernails scraping along his shoulder blades hard enough to draw blood. He lifted his head to kiss her passionately and she yielded willingly, wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing her breasts into his chest. The shaking of her hips alerted him to her oncoming orgasm and he moved his hands down to firmly grasp her rear, his arms lifting and releasing her and physically moving her up and down his shaft. Raven's lips tore from his to allow her to cry out into the night as every muscles in her body went perfectly limp and then locked, closing the walls of her core around his erection and sending violent jolts of subliminal bliss through every inch of her body. Her release spurred his and he moaned her name as he filled her, collapsing onto his back on the bed and taking her with him.

_/I wanna make you feel beautiful…/_

Neither could move for several minutes after and they lay together in a disheveled heap atop Raven's bed, trembling as they both came down from the high of adrenaline and sank comfortably into exhaustion's arms. Beast Boy moved first, rolling them both onto their sides and gently withdrawing himself from her body. He retrieved two pillows from the head of the bed and lifted Raven, whose energy was completely gone, long enough to place one of the billowy items below her and then ease her head down onto it. She smiled up at him weakly and closed her eyes, moving to rest against his side as he settled down next to her and pulled the blanket over their naked forms.

"I'm… sorry it took me… so long to say… I love you…" Raven whispered, her voice sated with fatigue. Beast Boy ran a hand through her hair and kissed her forehead softly.

"Don't be; I don't have to hear you say it to know it's true," he soothed, closing his eyes against the dizziness of contentment and already starting to slide into what would definitely be the best sleep he had ever had. Raven shifted slightly and rested her head on his shoulder, curling her body into his side.

"… Garfield?"

"Hmmm?"

"Will you dance with me at our wedding?" she whispered, her voice thick with sleep. His eyes slid open and he looked down at her, a smile sliding across his face.

"Every single song, Raven… every single song…"

6-6-6-6-6-6-6-6-6-6-6-6-6-6-6-6-6-6-6-6-6-6-6-6-6-6-6-6-6-6-6-6-6-6-6-6-6-6-6-6-6-6

_The music moved into the last repeat of the chorus and Beast Boy smiled sadly, tipping his head up to meet the continued downpour of the rain. It never failed to amaze him, no matter how many times he heard it play, that one song could perfectly describe everything that had brought himself and Raven together. He heard her apartment door open and shut and he allowed his eyes to trail down to the front door, where she emerged from a moment later. Her stomach was swollen with six months of pregnancy and she held a wooden stirring spoon in her hand, which she shook at him in mock-anger. _

_"There you are! Are you going to stand there and daydream like an idiot, or are you going to come in and help me cook?" she chastised, though her face sparkled with amusement. The changeling laughed softly and shook his head, reaching down to pick up the bag of groceries at his feet. The sun shone brightly down on him from a cloudless sky as he approached the apartment and took his wife by her shoulders, leaning in to kiss her soft lips. _

_/I don't mind spending every day/_

_/Out on your corner in the pouring rain/_

_"Yes yes, dear…" he replied, grinning as she rolled her eyes at him. His hand found hers and he ran his fingers over her knuckles, over the bump of her engagement ring and the smooth texture of the matching wedding band. As promised, he had danced every single song with her at their wedding. She smiled at him and blushed, turning to lead him into the apartment. _

_"Raven?" She turned to look at him with that crossed-eyed expression she got whenever she was confused, making him laugh. _

_"Yes, Garfield?"_

_"Have I ever told you that I love you?" It was her turn to laugh, placing her free hand over her stomach to balance herself. _

_"Every day, Garfield. And have I ever told you I love you just the same?" He nodded wordlessly and leaned in to kiss her, deeper this time, before motioning up the stairs. _

_"Shall we my dear?"_

_"Of course… but Garfield?"_

_"Yes?"_

_"Don't take this as a sign that I like you or anything…" He smiled and shook his head, reaching back to close the door to the apartment complex behind them. _

_"Of course, dear." _

**END**

SMC: 1:42 pm, 25 December 2005

OMFG! IT'S FINISHED! And it only took me a year! ;

Outline of events if this story was part of the series itself.

Season One: June 2000 to Dec 2000

June 2000: Titans join together

November 2000: Events of "Nevermore"

Season Two: Dec 2000 to Oct 2001

Feb 4 2001: BB 15 years old

Late Feb 2001: Events of "Terra"

Apr 26 2001: Raven 16 years old

May 2001: Events of "Fear Itself"

Aug to Oct 2001: The Terra Arc – "Betrayal" "Aftershock: 01 and 02"

Season Three: Nov 2001 to March 2002

Early Jan 2002: "Spellbound"

- Scene 05: BB finds Raven in Cy's car: Early Feb 2002

Feb 4 2002: BB 16 years old

March 2002: "Titans East"

Season Four: April 2002 to July 2002

April 26, 2002: "Birthmark" (Raven 17 years old)

- Scene two: Raven's nightmare: Early May 2002

July 2002: "The End: Parts 01, 02, 03"

- Scene one: BB's contemplations: July 2002, the night after Trigon's defeat.

Post-Series: 

- Scene four: Raven and BB's first date: August 2002

February 04, 2003: Beast Boy 17 years old

April 26, 2003: Raven 18 years old

February 04, 2004: Beast Boy 18 years old

April 26, 2004: Raven 19 years old

- Scene three: Raven and BB's fight: July 2004

February 04, 2005: Beast Boy 19 years old

April 26, 2005: Raven 20 years old

- Scene six: Intimate scene: December 2005

NOTE: The present-day time in this story is June 2006. When this story was completed (it was written by hand at first) Season Five had not yet started running. Due to this, Season Five has been omitted from this story.


End file.
